friends, for I was
shy and reserved still, and my home was my world and society; at least I
wished it to be so. Sometimes I thought my wife strangely excited, it
looked very like the old misery, but she solemnly declared that she
never tasted anything intoxicating. I hoped she spoke the truth, even
against the evidence of my senses. After a while she persuaded me that
I wanted change, that I was rusting out in my loneliness. She would
have me accept an invitation to a friend's house now and then: it would
do me good. _She_ was happy in her home, she said, only she should be
happier still if she could see me gaining spirits by occasional
intercourse with like-minded friends. Not that she wished me to leave
her; it was for my own good she said it, and she should be delighting in
the thoughts of the good it would do me, and should find abundance to
cheer her in my absence, in the care of our darling child. She said all
this so openly, so artlessly, that I believed her. I thought she might
be right; so I went now and then from home for a few days, and, by
degrees, more and more frequently. And my wife encouraged it. She said
it did me so much good, and the benefit I reaped in improved health,
spirits, and intelligence quite reconciled her to the separation. We
went on so till our Mary was five years old; I could not say that my
wife was ever manifestly intemperate, but painful suspicions hung like a
black cloud over me. At last one summer's day, one miserable day: I can
never forget it: I set out to pay a week's visit to a friend, who lived
some ten miles distant from my home. I drove myself in a light, open
carriage; my horse was young and rather shy. I was just going round a
bend in the road, when a boy jumped suddenly over a hedge, right in
front of us. Away went my horse at the top of his speed, and soon
landed me in a ditch, and broke away, leaving the carriage with a
fractured shaft behind him. I was not hurt myself, so I got assistance
from the nearest cottage; and, having caught my horse, and found someone
to whom I could trust the repairing of my vehicle, I walked home. It
was afternoon when I arrived. I walked straight in through the back of
the premises, and entered the dining-room; there was no one there. I
was going to ring for one of the servants, when the door opened, and
little Mary toddled (I ought rather to say tottered) up to me. Her
mother was close behind her, but, at the sight of me,