, which is an _excellent_
average sample; a misdemeanor)--by winning a paltry thousand pounds
race somewhere; I really believe the Cesare--no!--not again!--was
at his mercy--but now, as the turf-writer puts it--"I shall look
elsewhere!"--as if _that_ would make any difference!--but of this
race, more anon, and meantime, those who are fond of the "good things"
of this life must not miss my selection for the big race of next week
at Kempton--on the Jubilee Course, which said course, I am told, is by
no means a Jubilee for the jockeys, owing to the danger in "racing for
the bend."

There are several horses entered who seem to have great chances,
making the race as difficult as a problem in _Euclid_--but my
selection will most certainly be "there, or thereabouts," which is a
comforting, if somewhat vague reflection.

Yours truly, LADY GAY.

DUKE OF YORK STAKES SELECTION.

The muse is dull!--the day is dead!
And vain is all endeavour
To light afresh the poet's spark--
I _can't_ find a rhyme for the winner,
_Iddesleigh_,

P.S.--Really it's most thoughtless of owners to harass one with such
names!

* * * * *

"IN THIS STYLE, TWO-AND-SIX."

(IN THE POUND).

SIR,--I have been much struck with the suggestion to do without hats,
and have made trial of the system. It has also made trial of _me_,
in the way of colds in the head, bronchial catarrh, &c., but I still
persevere. _It's so much cheaper!_ I have sold my stock of old
hats for half-a-crown, and calculate that I shall save _quite three
shillings per annum_ by not buying new ones. Surely anybody can see
that this is well worth doing! I am now seriously contemplating the
possibility of _doing without boots_!

Yours truly, SAVE THE SAXPENCES.

SIR,--Talk about hair growing if you leave off hats! My hair
was falling off in handfuls a little time ago. Did I abjure hats
altogether? Not being a born idiot, I did not. But I saw that what was
needed was proper ventilation aloft. So I had a specially-constructed
top-hat made, with holes all round it. In fact there were more holes
than hat, and the hatter scornfully referred to it as a "sieve." The
invention answered splendidly. There was a thorough draught constantly
rushing across the top of my head, with the speed and violence of a
first-class tornado. My locks, before so scanty, at once began to grow
in such profusion that it now seems impossible to stop them, ex