cept
by liberal applications of "Crinificatrix," the Patent Hair Restorer.
_That_ checks the growth effectually. My general name among chance
acquaintances is "Old Doormat." You can judge how thick my hair must
be and I ascribe it entirely to the beneficent action of the draught,
as before,

Yours, WELL-COVERED.

DEAR SIR,--Why would it be a mistake to say that a Negro was "as
black as my hat?" _Because I never wear one._ The only inconvenience
resulting is in wet weather--but, even then, I am prepared for all
emergencies. I keep in my pocket a little square of black waterproof,
to cover my head when it rains. In an Assize town, the other day, I
was followed by an angry crowd, who imagined that I was one of the
Judges, and that I had gone mad, and was walking about the streets
with the black cap on! But all true reformers are treated in this way,
even in England, the land of Liberty.

Yours, HATZOFF.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE JERRY-BUILDING JABBERWOCK.]

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!"--
Ah, CARROLL! it is not in fun
Your song's light lilt we snatch.

Our Jabberwock's a _real_ brute,
With mighty maw, and ruthless hand,
Who ravage makes beyond compute
In Civic Blunderland.

Look at the ogre's hideous mouth!
His tiger-teeth, his dragon-tail!
O'er Town, East, West, and North and South,
He leaves his slimy trail.

And where he comes all Beauty dies,
And where he halts all Greenery fades.
Pleasantness flies where'er he plies
His gruesomest of trades.

He blights the field, he blasts the wood,
With breath as fierce as prairie flame;
And where sweet works of Nature stood,
He leaves us--slums of shame.

The locust and the canker-worm
Are not more ruinous than he.
"I'll take this Eden--for a term!"
He cries, and howls with glee.

"Beauty? Mere bosh! Charm? Utter rot!
What boots your 'Earthly Paradise,'
Until 'tis made 'A Building Plot'?
Then it indeed looks nice!

"O Jerry Street! O Jerry Park!
O Jerry Gardens, Jerry Square!--
You won't discover--what a lark!--
One 'touch of Nature' there!

"'This handsome Villa Residence'
Means mud-built walls and clay-clogged walks;
And drains offensive to the sense,
And swamps whence fever stalks.

"Beauty's best friends I drive away,
Artists who sketch, ramblers who ro