surprised and envious, as wondering how she got
so much education. But, indeed, it was not real education; it was only
show: she got the words by listening in the dining-room and drawing-room
when there was company, and by going with the children to Sunday-school
and listening there; and whenever she heard a large word she said it
over to herself many times, and so was able to keep it until there was
a dogmatic gathering in the neighborhood, then she would get it off,
and surprise and distress them all, from pocket-pup to mastiff, which
rewarded her for all her trouble. If there was a stranger he was nearly
sure to be suspicious, and when he got his breath again he would ask her
what it meant. And she always told him. He was never expecting this but
thought he would catch her; so when she told him, he was the one that
looked ashamed, whereas he had thought it was going to be she. The
others were always waiting for this, and glad of it and proud of her,
for they knew what was going to happen, because they had had experience.
When she told the meaning of a big word they were all so taken up with
admiration that it never occurred to any dog to doubt if it was the
right one; and that was natural, because, for one thing, she answered up
so promptly that it seemed like a dictionary speaking, and for another
thing, where could they find out whether it was right or not? for she
was the only cultivated dog there was. By and by, when I was older, she
brought home the word Unintellectual, one time, and worked it pretty
hard all the week at different gatherings, making much unhappiness and
despondency; and it was at this time that I noticed that during that
week she was asked for the meaning at eight different assemblages, and
flashed out a fresh definition every time, which showed me that she had
more presence of mind than culture, though I said nothing, of course.
She had one word which she always kept on hand, and ready, like a
life-preserver, a kind of emergency word to strap on when she was likely
to get washed overboard in a sudden way--that was the word Synonymous.
When she happened to fetch out a long word which had had its day weeks
before and its prepared meanings gone to her dump-pile, if there was a
stranger there of course it knocked him groggy for a couple of minutes,
then he would come to, and by that time she would be away down wind on
another tack, and not expecting anything; so when he'd hail and ask her
to cash in