them cared to engage him a
second time.

In one campaign Lincoln was frequently annoyed by a young man who
entertained the idea that he was a born orator. He had a loud voice, was
full of language, and so conceited that he could not understand why the
people did not recognize and appreciate his abilities.

This callow politician delighted in interrupting public speakers, and
at last Lincoln determined to squelch him. One night while addressing a
large meeting at Springfield, the fellow became so offensive that
"Abe" dropped the threads of his speech and turned his attention to the
tormentor.

"I don't object," said Lincoln, "to being interrupted with sensible
questions, but I must say that my boisterous friend does not always make
inquiries which properly come under that head. He says he is afflicted
with headaches, at which I don't wonder, as it is a well-known fact that
nature abhors a vacuum, and takes her own way of demonstrating it.

"This noisy friend reminds me of a certain steamboat that used to run on
the Illinois river. It was an energetic boat, was always busy. When they
built it, however, they made one serious mistake, this error being in
the relative sizes of the boiler and the whistle. The latter was usually
busy, too, and people were aware that it was in existence.

"This particular boiler to which I have reference was a six-foot one,
and did all that was required of it in the way of pushing the boat
along; but as the builders of the vessel had made the whistle a six-foot
one, the consequence was that every time the whistle blew the boat had
to stop."

MCCLELLAN'S "SPECIAL TALENT."

President Lincoln one day remarked to a number of personal friends who
had called upon him at the White House:

"General McClellan's tardiness and unwillingness to fight the enemy or
follow up advantages gained, reminds me of a man back in Illinois who
knew a few law phrases but whose lawyer lacked aggressiveness. The man
finally lost all patience and springing to his feet vociferated, 'Why
don't you go at him with a fi. fa., a demurrer, a capias, a surrebutter,
or a ne exeat, or something; or a nundam pactum or a non est?'

"I wish McClellan would go at the enemy with something--I don't care
what. General McClellan is a pleasant and scholarly gentleman. He is
an admirable engineer, but he seems to have a special talent for a
stationary engine."

HOW "JAKE" GOT AWAY.

One of the last, if not the very