was "to sit
as near to the jury as convenient," he took advantage of his discomfort
and finally said to the Judge on the "bench":

"Your Honor, with your permission, I'll sit up nearer to the gentlemen
of the jury, for it hurts my legs less to rub my calves against the
bench than it does to skin my shins."

A LITTLE SHY OR GRAMMAR.

When Mr. Lincoln had prepared his brief letter accepting the
Presidential nomination he took it to Dr. Newton Bateman, the State
Superintendent of Education.

"Mr. Schoolmaster," he said, "here is my letter of acceptance. I am
not very strong on grammar and I wish you to see if it is all right. I
wouldn't like to have any mistakes in it.".

The doctor took the letter and after reading it, said:

"There is only one change I should suggest, Mr. Lincoln, you have
written 'It shall be my care to not violate or disregard it in any
part,' you should have written 'not to violate.' Never split an
infinitive, is the rule."

Mr. Lincoln took the manuscript, regarding it a moment with a puzzled
air, "So you think I better put those two little fellows end to end, do
you?" he said as he made the change.

HIS FIRST SATIRICAL WRITING.

Reuben and Charles Grigsby were married in Spencer county, Indiana, on
the same day to Elizabeth Ray and Matilda Hawkins, respectively. They
met the next day at the home of Reuben Grigsby, Sr., and held a double
infare, to which most of the county was invited, with the exception of
the Lincolns. This Abraham duly resented, and it resulted in his
first attempt at satirical writing, which he called "The Chronicles of
Reuben."

The manuscript was lost, and not recovered until 1865, when a house
belonging to one of the Grigsbys was torn down. In the loft a boy found
a roll of musty old papers, and was intently reading them, when he was
asked what he was doing.

"Reading a portion of the Scriptures that haven't been revealed yet,"
was the response. This was Lincoln's "Chronicles," which is herewith
given:

"THE CHRONICLES OF REUBEN."

"Now, there was a man whose name was Reuben, and the same was very
great in substance, in horses and cattle and swine, and a very great
household.

"It came to pass when the sons of Reuben grew up that they were desirous
of taking to themselves wives, and, being too well known as to honor
in their own country, they took a journey into a far country and there
procured for themselves wives.

"It came to pass also tha