, but I know them;
and this old rip of ourn is one of the cleanest I've struck in
history. Well, Henry he takes a notion he wants to get up some trouble
with this country. How does he go at it--give notice?--give the
country a show? No. All of a sudden he heaves all the tea in Boston
Harbor overboard, and whacks out a declaration of independence, and
dares them to come on. That was _his_ style--he never give anybody a
chance. He had suspicions of his father, the Duke of Wellington. Well,
what did he do? Ask him to show up? No--drownded him in a butt of
mamsey, like a cat. S'pose people left money laying around where he
was--what did he do? He collared it. S'pose he contracted to do a
thing, and you paid him, and didn't set down there and see that he
done it--what did he do? He always done the other thing. S'pose he
opened his mouth--what then? If he didn't shut it up powerful quick
he'd lose a lie every time. That's the kind of a bug Henry was; and if
we'd 'a' had him along 'stead of our kings he'd 'a' fooled that town a
heap worse than ourn done. I don't say that ourn is lambs, because
they ain't, when you come right down to the cold facts; but they ain't
nothing to _that_ old ram, anyway. All I say is, kings is kings, and
you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty
ornery lot. It's the way they're raised."

"But dis one do _smell_ so like de nation, Huck."

"Well, they all do, Jim. We can't help the way a king smells; history
don't tell no way."

"Now de duke, he's a tolerble likely man in some ways."

"Yes, a duke's different. But not very different. This one's a
middling hard lot for a duke. When he's drunk there ain't no
near-sighted man could tell him from a king."

"Well, anyways, I doan' hanker for no mo' un um, Huck. Dese is all I
kin stan'."

"It's the way I feel, too, Jim. But we've got them on our hands, and
we got to remember what they are, and make allowances. Sometimes I
wish we could hear of a country that's out of kings."

What was the use to tell Jim these warn't real kings and dukes? It
wouldn't 'a' done no good; and, besides, it was just as I said: you
couldn't tell them from the real kind.

I went to sleep, and Jim didn't call me when it was my turn. He often
done that. When I waked up just at daybreak he was sitting there with
his head down betwixt his knees, moaning and mourning to himself. I
didn't take notice nor let on. I knowed what it was about. He was
thi