Does not, in the last instance, the fact that you need somebody give
you a certain claim on him?--Can't you understand, Sala, that he
represents my last hope?... That actually I haven't got anything or
anybody left but him?... That wherever I turn, I find nothing but
emptiness?... That I am horrified by the loneliness awaiting me?

SALA

And what could it help you if he stayed? And even if he felt something
like filial tenderness toward you, how could that help you?... How can
he or anybody else help you?... You say that loneliness horrifies
you?... And if you had a wife by your side to-day, wouldn't you be
lonely just the same?... Wouldn't you be lonely even if you were
surrounded by children and grandchildren?... Suppose you had kept your
money, your fame and your genius--don't you think you would be lonely
for all that?... Suppose we were always attended by a train of
bacchantes--nevertheless we should have to tread the downward path
alone--we, who have never belonged to anybody ourselves. The process of
aging must needs be a lonely one for our kind, and he is nothing but a
fool who doesn't in time prepare himself against having to rely on any
human being.

JULIAN

And do you imagine, Sala, that you need no human being?

SALA

In the manner I have used them they will always be at my disposal. I
have always been in favor of keeping at a certain distance. It is not
my fault that other people haven't realized it.

JULIAN

In that respect you are right, Sala. For you have never really loved
anybody in this world.

SALA

Perhaps not. And how about you? No more than I, Julian.... To love
means to live for the sake of somebody else. I don't say that it is a
more desirable form of existence, but I do think, at any rate, that you
and I have been pretty far removed from it. What has that which one
like us brings into the world got to do with love? Though it include
all sorts of funny, hypocritical, tender, unworthy, passionate things
that pose as love--it isn't love for all that.... Have we ever made a
sacrifice by which our sensuality or our vanity didn't profit?... Have
we ever hesitated to betray or blackguard decent people, if by doing so
we could gain an hour of happiness or of mere lust?... Have we ever
risked our peace or our lives--not out of whim or recklessness--but to
promote the welfare of someone who had given all to us?... Have we ever
denied ourselves an enjoyment unless from such denial we could a