ch I felt, I
confessed to him that I was half in love with him; while at the same
time I thought him the most disgusting old brute in existence. In return
for my pleasing lie, he pressed my hand fervently, and requested me to
relate to him the story of my life, from "my own rosy lips," as he said.
My Chevalier, you know what splendid powers of imagination, and what a
rich, prolific fancy I possess; and well I may--for am I not a leading
contributor to a fashionable ladies' magazine, besides being the
authoress of "Confessions of a Voluptuous Young Lady of High Rank," and
also the editress of the last edition of the "Memoirs of Miss Frances
Hill?" Well, I entertained my aged admirer with a pretty little
impromptu "romance," "got up expressly for the occasion," as the
playbills have it; and he religiously believed every word of it--though,
of course, it contained not one single word of truth in it. I told him
that _my brother_ and myself--ha, ha!--were the children of some Duke
Thingumby, (whose name I have forgotten already,) who was one of the
greatest nobles in France; yes, faith--our venerable papa had royal
blood in his veins, while our mamma, bless her dear soul, was 'closely
allied to several of the most aristocratic families in the kingdom.'
Then I trumped up a cock-and-bull story about papa killing mamma in a
fit of jealousy, having caught her in a naughty fix with the young Count
Somebody-or-other, whom he also slew, and then, to wind up the fun, went
to his own chamber and shot himself--great booby as he was! Next, the
notary who had charge of our princely fortune, "stepped out," as they
say, and left us, poor orphans, without the price of a penny roll. I was
intensely virtuous, of course, resisted a hundred tempting offers to
become the kept mistress of men of wealth and rank--we came to America,
and settled in Boston, where you now obtain for us a comfortable
subsistence by privately teaching the use of the small sword. Ah, my
Chevalier, wasn't that brought in well? Then I went on to lament that
my passions were so fiery that I could not enjoy the society of an
agreeable man without danger to my honor; and concluded my story by
hinting to Mr. Tickels that my virtue had never been in such peril, as
when his arms had embraced me--for, said I, my senses were fast becoming
intoxicated; and in a few moments more I should have been your victim,
had I not, by a powerful effort, escaped from the sweet delirium which
w