e a ballot, Mr. Chairman, I want to
say right here an' now that Mrs. Crow will have my full an' undivided
support, just as she has always had. I have allus maintained that a
woman's place is in the home. Therefore, when it comes time fer Mrs.
Crow to assume the responsibilities of this here office, I am goin' to
see to it that she _stays_ home an' tends to her household duties. I am
goin' to be deputy marshal durin' her term of office, without pay,
ladies an' gentlemen, an' I am goin' to lift every bit o' the work off'n
her shoulders. I believe in equal sufferin'. If she'll do the woman's
share o' the work, I'll do the man's, an' nothin' could be fairer than
that. Between us we'll give the city o' Tinkletown the best
administration the office of marshal has ever had. My wife ain't here
tonight to accept the honour you are goin' to heap on her, but I think I
can safely promise she'll consent to make the race. She may kick like a
bay steer at first, but when she sees it's her _duty_ to run, you bet
she'll do it! It's a case of woman ag'in woman, feller Republicans, an'
man ag'in man. All I got to say is that the best woman's bound to win. I
almost forgot to say that if the voters o' Tinkletown don't jump at the
chance to git a marshal an' a experienced deputy for the price o' one
salary, it's because there's more derned fools in the town than I
thought there was."
Mr. Ed Higgins sprang to his feet.
"I move, Mr. Chairman, that we make the nomination unanimous without a
dissenting vote," he cried out. "We got a chance to get the best deputy
marshal in the United States of America without it costin' us a red
cent, an' besides that, we get the best cook in all Tinkletown for
marshal. If there's anybody here, male or female, who c'n deny that Mrs.
Crow is the best cook alive I'd like to hear him say so. I've eat a
hundred meals in her house an' I know what I'm talkin' about. I defy
anybody--"
"I call for a vote!" cried out one of the women, bridling a little. "And
I want to say to you, Ed Higgins, that while I think Mrs. Crow will make
the best marshal we've ever had, I wouldn't go so far as to say she's
the best cook in Tinkletown. You haven't been invited to eat in _every_
house in this town, don't forget that."
"All in favour of making the nomination of Mrs. Crow unanimous signify
by holding up their hands," said the chairman.
Every hand went up. Then a rousing cheer was given for the "next Marshal
of Tinkletown,
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