fer you at the jail."

"Well, this certainly beats all! I thought sure you'd put up an awful
fight, Lucius."

"I want to be locked up so's I won't commit murder," Lucius explained
eagerly.

"Good gracious! You come along with me, Lucius Fry. You got to be put
under lock an' key 'fore this night is over. I can't take no chances on
your murderin' that pore defenceless wife of your'n. You come--"

"I ain't thinkin' of murderin' my wife," protested Lucius, holding back.
"What I'm scared of is I'll murder one or two of these pesky women--that
Banks woman, fer instance. It's gittin' so I can't stick my nose outside
the door 'thout her droppin' everything an' runnin' out to gab with me.
I don't get a minute's privacy. If it ain't one, it's another. You'd
think I was Napoleon Boneparte, the way them women act. I don't know
what's come over 'em."

"Why, it's just 'cause they think you can lick any man in town. That's
the way with some women. The more brutal a man is to his own wife, the
more the other women seem to appreciate him. I must say, it takes a
purty good man to lick that wife of your'n--she's twice as big as you
are, and--"

"Why, gosh dern it, Mr. Crow, I couldn't lick Stella in a million
years," whispered Lucius fiercely.

"What's that? You--you say you can't lick your wife?"

"_I should say not!_" exclaimed Mr. Fry, raising his voice in
earnestness. Instantly he lowered it, standing on his tip-toes the
better to impart the following information to the amazed Marshal: "She
can lick me with both hands tied behind her back. Nobody knows it
better'n I do. I just got to keep throwin' things at her an' cussin' an'
smashin' furniture, an' all that, 'cause if she ever got an idea how
scared I am of her, she'd pick me up by the seat of my pants an'--Oh, I
tell you it's gettin' to be more'n I c'n stand, Mr. Crow. It's mighty
hard to keep on thinkin' you got to keep on bein' brave when you're
scared plumb to death all the time. Why, if Stella ever got onto the
fact that I--"

"But you keep on beatin' her just the same, don't you?"

"I never beat her unless her back's turned. First I throw somethin' at
her. That's the best way. But you never ought to throw anything unless
you got somethin' ready in the other hand. _An' hang onto that until
you're sure she's not goin' to run to'ards you 'stead of the other way._
If you're goin' to be a successful wife-beater, you got to use an awful
lot of common-sense." He looked o