fend the town from papers
and books----.

It was at about this point that The Presiding Genius of the State of
Massachusetts took up the subject, and after modulating a little and
then modulating a little more, he was soon listening to himself about a
book we had not read, and I sat in my chair and wrote out this.

IX

The Bugbear of Being Well Informed--A Practical Suggestion

1. This Club shall be known as the Ignoramus Club of ----.

4. Every member shall be pledged not to read the latest book
until people have stopped expecting it.

5. The Club shall have a Standing Committee that shall report at
every meeting on New Things That People Do Not Need to Know.

6. It shall have a Public Library Committee, appointed every
year, to look over the books in regular order and report on
Old Things That People Do Not Need to Know. (Committee
instructed to keep the library as small as possible.)

8. No member (vacations excepted) shall read any book that he
would not read twice. In case he does, he shall be obliged to
read it twice or pay a fine (three times the price of book,
net).

11. The Club shall meet weekly.

12. Any person of suitable age shall be eligible for membership
in the Club, who, after a written examination in his
deficiencies, shall appear, in the opinion of the Examining
Board, to have selected his ignorance thoughtfully,
conscientiously, and for the protection of his mind.

13. All persons thus approved shall be voted upon at the next
regular meeting of the Club--the vote to be taken by ballot
(any candidate who has not read _When Knighthood Was in
Flower_, or _Audrey_, or _David Harum_--by acclamation).

Perhaps I have quoted from the by-laws sufficiently to give an idea of
the spirit and aim of the Club. I append the order of meeting:

1. Called to order.

2. Reports of Committees.

3. General Confession (what members have read during the week).

4. FINES.

5. Review: Books I Have Escaped.

6. Essay: Things Plato Did Not Need to Know.

7. Omniscience. Helpful Hints. Remedies.

8. The Description Evil; followed by an illustration.

9. _Not_ Travelling on the Nile: By One Who Has Been There.

10. Our Village Street: Stereopticon.

11. What Not to Know about Birds.

12. Myself through an O