BUT REMEMBER SHE
MUST BE CAPABLE AND PLAIN--NOT LIKE THE HUSSIES YOU USUALLY FETCH."]

* * * * *

A FOUL GAME.

It is Christmas, and here is a nice little cricket story for the
hearth. The funny thing about it is that it is true. And the other
funny thing about it is that it was told to me by a huge Rugger
Blue called Eric. (I understand people can change their names at
Confirmation. Why don't they?)

It was in a College match--not, I gather, a particularly serious one.
Eric and his friend Charles were playing for Balbus College against
Caramel College. Caramel had an "A" team out, and Balbus, I should
think, must have had about a "K" team ... anyhow, Eric and Charles
were both playing. Eric, as he modestly said, doesn't bat much, and
Charles doesn't bowl much. Eric said to Charles, "I bet you a fiver
you won't get six wickets." Charles said to Eric, "All right; and I
bet you a fiver you won't get a hundred runs."

Then began a hideous series of intrigues. Caramel were to bat first,
and Eric went to the Balbus captain and said, "There's a sovereign[1]
for you if Charles doesn't go on to bowl _at all_."

[Footnote 1: This is a pre-war story.]

"Very well," said the captain, with a glance of sinister
understanding. "Wouldn't have anyhow," he added as he pocketed the
stake.

Then Charles arrived.

"Two pounds," said the captain.

"What for?" said Charles.

"For ten overs--four bob an over."

"It's too much," said Charles; "but there's a sovereign for you if
Eric goes in ninth wicket down."

"Very well," said the captain, with a glance of devilish cunning.
"It's only one lower than usual. Thank you."

Acting on intuition and their knowledge of the captain, Eric and
Charles then hotly accused each other of bribery. Both confessed,
and it was agreed to start fair. Charles was to bowl first change and
Eric was to bat first wicket. The captain said he would want a lot of
bribing to go back on the original arrangement, especially if it meant
Charles bowling, but he would do it for the original price; and, as he
already held the money, Eric and Charles had to concede the point.

By the way, I am afraid the captain doesn't come very well out of
this, and I'm afraid it is rather an immoral story; but my object is
to show up the evils of commercialism, so it is all right.

Pallas Athene came down and stood by the bowler's umpire while Charles
was bowling, and he got five wickets