e
--Indefiniteness
--Mental Flurry."

_Advt. in Sunday Paper_.

* * * * *

"It is announced that, starting with next week, 'Ways and means'
and 'Common Sense' will be amalgamated."

_Evening Paper_.

Will the Government please note?

* * * * *

"Army biscuits, suitable for bed-chair cushions. 3s. reserve.
----'s Auction Sale."

_Provincial Paper_.

They seem to have lost something of their war-time hardihood.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Small Boy._ "I SAY, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING WITH A BIT
MORE BUCK IN IT THAN THIS LEMONADE?"]

* * * * *

PUSS AT THE PALACE.

[_The Daily Telegraph_, in a report of the Cat Show at the Crystal
Palace, remarks that "the cat has 'come back' as a hobby."]

O ALL ye devoted cat-lovers,
Ere spending the cheques you have cashed,
Leave a trifle for tickets to enter the wickets
That ope on the Temple of Pasht.

For to-day in the Palace of PAXTON
Cats gathered from every zone--
Manx, Persian, Sardinian, Chinese, Abyssinian--
Are now being splendidly shown.

The names of the winners and owners
Inspire me with joy and delight;
_E.g._, Blue-eyed Molly, John Bull (Madame Dolli)
And Snowflake, the champion white.

And then the adorable kittens!
Too high-bred to gambol or skip,
With names that are mighty, like Inglewood Clytie,
Or comic, like Holme Ruddy Pip.

It is pleasant to learn Mr. SHAKESPEARE'S
Success with his Siamese strain,
For his namesake the poet, so far as we know it,
Held "poor, harmless" puss in disdain.

Yes, the cat has "come back" as a hobby,
Oh, let us be thankful for that,
For it might be the coon or the blue-nosed baboon,
Or the deadly Norwegian rat.

* * * * *

THE FINE OLD FRUITY.

Wine merchants must be kind men. So many of those who have sent me
their circulars this Christmas-time have announced that they are
"giving their clients the benefit of some exceptionally advantageous
purchases which they have made."

But it is not the humanity of wine merchants of which I wish to speak.
It is the intriguing epithets which they apply to their wines. And I
have entertained myself by applying these to my relatives, an exercise
which I find attended by the happiest results.

"Fine old s