n short, I felt that, though unkindly treated,
A happier time to me would surely come,
When my request (impassioned) would be greeted
With no down-pointing thumb.

Maud, it occurs to me you shunned a marriage
Because that function, otherwise "quite nice,"
Involved the facing of a friendly "barrage"
Mainly composed of valedictory rice,
Stinging the cheek and nestling in the clothing;
If that was so, I share the feeling, sweet;
For rice in puddings I've no special loathing,
But I detest it neat.

If such your reason was, there 's no material
Objection to our union to-day;
No risk remains of that offensive cereal
Being employed in such a reckless way;
You can say "Yes" without one apprehensive
Thought that your brother is, a deadly shot;
Rice as a missile now is too expensive.
Anything doing--what?

* * * * *

"According to a Paris report, an Anglo-British force of 50,000
are on their way to occupy Constantinople."--_Daily Paper_.

It is, no doubt, the peculiar composition of this force that has
aroused the apprehensions of French chauvinists.

* * * * *

"Denikin's troops are fleeing partly in steamers, partly along
the coast, leaving a large booby." _"Planters and Commercial
Gazette" (Mauritius)._

"A Bolshevist wireless says the Reds captured Tagonrog,
Denikin's former headquarters, taking a huge booby."--_Same
Paper_.

The booby prize has apparently been awarded to the Reds, but we feel
that our contemporary might have put in a claim.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FORGOTTEN CAUSE.

MAN IN THE STREET. "WELL, IF THE OTHER ALLIES SAY SO TOO, THERE MUST
BE SOMETHING IN IT. BUT _I_ ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD THE _GOVERNMENT_ WAS TO
BLAME FOR EVERYTHING."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, March 8th_.--I should hesitate to call Sir HAMAR GREENWOOD
the _Pooh-Bah_ of the Ministry, though he has something of that
worthy's sublime self-confidence and his capacity for taking any
number of posts. The House, which knows him both as Under-Secretary
for Foreign Affairs and Secretary to the Overseas Trade Department
of the Board of Trade, was surprised to hear him answering questions
relating to the nascent oil-wells in the United Kingdom, and to learn
that he had become