on. Among the tasty dishes thus described
may be mentioned Whitehall Hash, Ministerial Mince, Reconstruction
Rissoles, Control Cutlets and Separation Stew.

Mr. Punch also learns that in honour of the campaign the Yeomen of the
Guard are henceforth to be popularly known as the "Muttoneaters."

* * * * *

WHAT OF THE DUMPS?

["We repeat our question, therefore, and expect a 'Yes' or
'No' answer: _Have all the dumps been sold, or have they
not_?"--_Daily Mail_.]

While wealth untold lies heaped in idleness
We will not see the nation go to pot;
We ask you (kindly answer "No" or "Yes"):
_Have all the dumps been sold, or have they not_?

By many a shell-torn desolate chateau
Stand monumental piles of martial store
Reared up long since to stem a savage foe
By labours of the Army Service Corps;

And day by day, in spite of our advice,
They linger wastefully to rust and rot;
We ask (and let your answer be concise):
_Have all the dumps been sold, or have they not_?

No more may KELLAWAY in bland retort
Disguise the truth with verbal circumstance;
Our special correspondents still report:
"Entrenching tools obscure the face of France.".

The case is plain; the issue is distinct;
You either answer now or out you trot
(And kindly make that answer quite succinct):
_Have all the dumps been sold, or have they not_?

* * * * *

"WEDDING ROMANCE.

"The acquaintanceship soon developed into a house where Miss
---- was living."--_Daily Paper_.

The chief obstacle to matrimony being thus removed, there could, of
course, be only one end to the story.

* * * * *

"The Committee has decided to call the contest the 'Golden
Apple Challenge,' having in mind the legend of Paris giving
a golden apple to Helen of Troy as the fairest of the three
beautiful women who came to ask his judgment."--_Daily Mail_.

Personally we never attach much importance to these Paris legends.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MORE ADVENTURES OF A POST-WAR SPORTSMAN.

_Master_. "HI! YOU! 'WARE BEANS. DON'T YOU KNOW BEANS WHEN YOU SEE
'EM?"

_P.-W.S._ "THEY'RE THE LITTLE THINGS THEY PUTS IN TINS WITH PORK,
AIN'T THEY?"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks_