eat favour, mentioning her tea to all my City
friends? She _knows_ I have great influence in the City." Says this
with winning smile. Query--is not _Mincing_ Lane rather an appropriate
locality for Lady Tea-dealers?

Later. Wife has forbidden my ever going to Mincing Lane again! Says
the box of "Incomparable Congou" was mere "dust." So are my hopes!

* * * * *

A DENTIST'S WAITING-ROOM.

[Illustration]

Clasping tight my jaw, I staggered,
Pale and haggard,
To this room,
Where were fellow-martyrs sitting
In befitting,
Solemn gloom;

Whilst they turned, with air dejected,
Books collected
To amuse,
_Graphics_, or accumulated
_Illustrated_
_London News_.

How they glared! No fellow-feeling
O'er them stealing,
Made them kind;
"Touch of nature" that is dental
Makes no mental
Kin, I find.

There I sat, the numbers growing
Less, each going
To his fate--
What a dismal occupation!
My elation
Was not great--

Heard the butler call each saddened,
Toothache-maddened
Victim's name;
Watched them wincing as they strode out:
I should no doubt
Look the same.

Then, when me he had to take in,
"Mr. AIKIN!"
Made me quail;
O'er the after vivisection
Recollection
Draws a veil!

* * * * *

FROM THE SHADES.

(_AT THE SIGN OF THE "CASTOR AND POLLUX."_)

DEAR MISTER PUNCH,--Look at 'ere! This is not one of your penny
papers--there was none on 'em in _my_ time--ups and says, says
it:--"The travelling expenses from America of Mr. JACKSON, who is
coming to England to fight Mr. SLAVIN for the Championship of the
World, are reckoned at no less than L150."

Wy, wot a delikit plarnt, wot a blooming hexotic, this "Mister"
JACKSON (oh, the pooty perliteness of it!) must be! Saloon passage
and fust-class fare, I persoom, for the likes of _'im_. Isters and
champagne, no doubt, and liquoor brandy, and sixpenny smokes! A poor
old pug like me wos glad of a steak and inguns, and a 'arf ounce o'
shag, with a penny clay. And as to "travelling hexpenses"--I wonder
wot the Noble Captings of _our_ day would 'ave said to the accounts
laid afore your "National Sporting Club!" L2000 for the Purse, and
L150 for