* *

THE LIMB AND THE LAW.--"To whom does an amputated limb belong?"
queries the _Standard_ (_a propos_ of the case of the boy HOUSLEY,
whose father demanded that the arm cut off in the Infirmary should be
given up to him). The answer is clear. An amputated limb belongs to
_no body_!

* * * * *

IN DEFENCE OF THE GREAT PARADOXIST.

He may not be "earnest," he may not be "smart,"
You may say, if you please, he's unable to sing;
But, oh, you _must_ own he's a "work of art,"--
A "beautiful untrue thing!"

* * * * *

ASPIRATIONS.--A Music-hall Manager told the Parliamentary Committee
sitting on Theatres and Places of Entertainment, that he did not
believe in Art with a capital A. Perhaps he believed in Art with a
capital H?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ROYAL PARLIAMENTARY TOURNAMENT; OR, THE SESSION
ENDS IN SMOKE.]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, May 16._--This looked forward to in advance
as grand field-night. SQUIRE OF MALWOOD been preparing onslaught on
JOKIM's last Budget. Should have come off days ago, but Squire had
other engagements in the country. Nothing to equal Prince ARTHUR's
accommodating spirit. If the Squire not ready to demolish Budget, say,
on Thursday, well, it shall be put off till Monday, or even later if
that day not convenient. JOKIM doesn't mind; accustomed to have his
Budgets torn up, and the little pieces returned to him postage unpaid;
would feel lonely if Budget went through an uninterrupted course.
Arranged accordingly that to-night the great onslaught shall he
delivered. The Squire judiciously spent interval since Friday amidst
quiet glades of Malwood.

"I always like, TOBY," he said, "if I get a chance, to have Monday set
apart for one of my more important speeches. I make a point of going
to the morning service on the day which, happily still, lies 'tween
Saturday and Monday, and I don't know anything more conducive to the
preparation of impromptus than a good sermon read out for space of
twenty minutes; not more, or your wit begins to falter and you repeat
yourself; just twenty minutes. A moderately comfortable pew, a voice
not too loud in the pulpit, a fairly full congregation, and a general
sense that you're doing the right thing and setting an example to yo