script like,--Why, this is Tottenham Court
Road, I get out here. Good-bye, dear, I must tell you the rest another
day.

_[Gets out, leaving the tantalised audience inconsolable, and longing
for courage to question her companion as to the precise details of_
ELIZA'S _heartless behaviour to_ GEORGE. _The companion, however,
relapses into a stony reserve. Enter a_ Chatty Old Gentleman _who has
no secrets from anybody, and of course selects as the first recipient
of his confidence the one person who hates to be talked to in an
omnibus._

_The Chatty O.G._ I've just been having a talk with the policeman at
the corner there--what do you think I said to him?

_His Opposite Neighbour._ I--I really don't know.

_The C.O.G._ Well, I told him he was a rich man compared to me. He
said, "I only get thirty shillings a week, Sir." "Ah," I said, "but
look at your expenses, compared to mine. What would _you_ do if you
had to spend eight hundred a year on your children's education? I
spend that--every penny of it, Sir.

_His Opp. N. (utterly uninterested)._ Do you indeed?--dear me!

_C.O.G._ Not that I grudge it--a good education is a fortune in
itself, and as I've always told my boys, they must make the best of
it, for it's all they'll get. They're good enough lads, but I've had
a deal of trouble with them one way and another--a _deal_ of trouble.
_(Pauses for some expression of sympathy--which does not come--and he
continues:)_ There are my two eldest sons--what must they do but fall
in love with the same lady--the same lady. Sir! _(No one seems to care
much for these domestic revelations--possibly because they are too
obviously addressed to the general ear.)_ And, to make matters worse,
she was a married woman--_(his principal hearer looks another way
uneasily)_--the wife of a godson of mine, which made it all the more
awkward, y'know. (His Opposite Neighbour _giving no sign, the_ C. O.
G. _tries one Passenger after another.)_ Well, I went to him--(here he
fixes an old Lady, who immediately passes up coppers out of her glove
to the_ Conductor)--went to him, and said--_(addressing a smartly
dressed young Lady with a parcel, who giggles)_--I said, "You're a man
of the world--so am I. Don't you take any notice," I told him--_(this
to a callow young man, who blushes)_--"they're a Couple of young
fools," I said, "but you tell your dear wife from me not to mind those
boys of mine--they'll soon get tired of it if they're only let alon