hnson relished it much at
first, but soon remarked to me, that 'there was nothing becoming a Chief
about it: it was a mere tradesman's box[794].' He seemed quite at home,
and no longer found any difficulty in using the Highland address; for as
soon as we arrived, he said, with a spirited familiarity, 'Now, _Col_,
if you could get us a dish of tea.' Dr. Johnson and I had each an
excellent bed-chamber. We had a dispute which of us had the best
curtains. His were rather the best, being of linen; but I insisted that
my bed had the best posts, which was undeniable. 'Well, (said he,) if
you _have_ the best _posts_, we will have you tied to them and whipped.'
I mention this slight circumstance, only to shew how ready he is, even
in mere trifles, to get the better of his antagonist, by placing him in
a ludicrous view. I have known him sometimes use the same art, when hard
pressed in serious disputation. Goldsmith, I remember, to retaliate for
many a severe defeat which he has suffered from him, applied to him a
lively saying in one of Cibber's comedies, which puts this part of his
character in a strong light.--'There is no arguing with Johnson; for,
_if his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of
it_[795].'

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 6.

After a sufficiency of sleep, we assembled at breakfast. We were just as
if in barracks. Every body was master. We went and viewed the old castle
of Col, which is not far from the present house, near the shore, and
founded on a rock. It has never been a large feudal residence, and has
nothing about it that requires a particular description. Like other old
inconvenient buildings of the same age, it exemplified Gray's
picturesque lines,

'Huge[796] windows that exclude the light,
And passages that lead to nothing.'

It may however be worth mentioning, that on the second story we saw a
vault, which was, and still is, the family prison. There was a woman put
into it by the laird, for theft, within these ten years; and any
offender would be confined there yet; for, from the necessity of the
thing, as the island is remote from any power established by law, the
laird must exercise his jurisdiction to a certain degree.

We were shewn, in a corner of this vault, a hole, into which Col said
greater criminals used to be put. It was now filled up with rubbish of
different kinds. He said, it was of a great depth, 'Ay, (said Dr.
Johnson, smiling,) all such places, that _ar