le lac,
En dormant dans son bac;
J'irois au fier Eac,
Sans que mon coeur fit tic ni tac,
Presenter du tabac.
French Vaudeville

THAT Pierre Bon-Bon was a _restaurateur_ of uncommon qualifications,
no man who, during the reign of----, frequented the little Cafe in the
cul-de-sac Le Febvre at Rouen, will, I imagine, feel himself at liberty
to dispute. That Pierre Bon-Bon was, in an equal degree, skilled in
the philosophy of that period is, I presume, still more especially
undeniable. His _pates a la fois_ were beyond doubt immaculate; but
what pen can do justice to his essays _sur la Nature_--his thoughts sur
_l'Ame_--his observations _sur l'Esprit?_ If his _omelettes_--if his
_fricandeaux_ were inestimable, what _litterateur_ of that day would not
have given twice as much for an "_Idee de Bon-Bon_" as for all the trash
of "_Idees_" of all the rest of the _savants?_ Bon-Bon had ransacked
libraries which no other man had ransacked--had more than any other
would have entertained a notion of reading--had understood more than
any other would have conceived the possibility of understanding; and
although, while he flourished, there were not wanting some authors at
Rouen to assert "that his _dicta_ evinced neither the purity of the
Academy, nor the depth of the Lyceum"--although, mark me, his doctrines
were by no means very generally comprehended, still it did not follow
that they were difficult of comprehension. It was, I think, on account
of their self-evidency that many persons were led to consider them
abstruse. It is to Bon-Bon--but let this go no farther--it is to Bon-Bon
that Kant himself is mainly indebted for his metaphysics. The former was
indeed not a Platonist, nor strictly speaking an Aristotelian--nor did
he, like the modern Leibnitz, waste those precious hours which might
be employed in the invention of a _fricasee_ or, _facili gradu_, the
analysis of a sensation, in frivolous attempts at reconciling the
obstinate oils and waters of ethical discussion. Not at all. Bon-Bon was
Ionic--Bon-Bon was equally Italic. He reasoned _a priori_--He reasoned
also _a posteriori_. His ideas were innate--or otherwise. He believed in
George of Trebizonde--He believed in Bossarion [Bessarion]. Bon-Bon was
emphatically a--Bon-Bonist.

I have spoken of the philosopher in his capacity of _restaurateur_. I
would not, however, have any friend of mine imagine that, in fulfi