m to trouble himself much about the dogs; he saw so
much of the human nuisances.

What a capital idea it would be to set up an apparatus like this in the
workhouses and in conjunction with the hospitals!

Do you know, thoughtless, happy maiden, singing all the day, that one
out of every five people who die in London, die in the workhouse or the
hospital?

Eighty-two thousand people died in London in 1882, and of these,
fourteen thousand expired in the workhouses, and six thousand in
hospitals!

Are not these ghastly figures? By just setting up a few Apparatuses, see
what an immense amount of suffering would be saved, and consider what a
multitude of human nuisances would he "moved on!"

The poor have a saying that none live long after they have been in a
certain hospital. "He's been in that hospital--he won't live long." They
carry out such wonderful operations there--human vivisections, but
strictly painless, of course, under chloroform--true Christian
chopping-up--still the folk do not live long when they come out.

Why not set up the Apparatus? But a man must not die in peace.
Starvation is for human nuisances.

These rich folk dwelling round about the great Babylon of Misery, where
Want sits on the Seven Hills, have also distinguished themselves by yet
another invention. This is the organization of alms. Charity is so holy
we will not leave it to chance--to the stray penny--we will organize it.
The system is very simple: it is done by ticket. First you subscribe a
few shillings to some organization, with its secretary, its clerks, its
offices, board-room, and "machinery." For this you receive tickets.

If a disagreeable woman with a baby in her arms, or a ragged boy, or a
maimed man asks you for a "copper," you hand him a ticket. This saves
trouble and responsibility.

The beggar can take the ticket to the "office" and get his case
"investigated." After an inquiry, and an adjournment for a week; another
inquiry, and another adjournment for a week; a third inquiry, and a
third adjournment, then, if he be of high moral character and highly
recommended, he may get his dinner.

One great advantage is conspicuous in this system: by no possible means
can you risk giving a penny to a man not of high moral character, though
he be perishing of starvation.

If a man asks for bread, will ye give him a stone? Certainly not; give
him a ticket.

They did not understand how to do things in Judea Anno Domini I.

Th