perience has shown the wisdom of having the
only trustworthy guide in front. Then comes the company commander,
followed by the Colonel, the Staff officer and the Great One.
Immediately behind, the Adjutant (taking notes), the platoon commander
(partially dazed), the machine-gun officer (not essential), and the
Sapper (if he's been caught by the human avalanche) advance in echelon.
At intervals the procession halts, and the same religious rite takes
place.

SERGEANT (_peering round the next traverse, in voice of fury_): "Don't
drink tea out of yer tin 'at, yer perisher! 'Ere's the General
a-coming."

COLONEL (_prompted by company commander_): "Now from here, sir, we get
a most magnificent field of fire behind--ah--those craters there. I
thought that--where was it we decided?--oh, yes, by--ah--putting a
Lewis gun here . . . er, well, perhaps you'd like to look yourself,
sir."

GREAT ONE: "Yes, very much. Have you got my periscope?" (_Staff
officer produces, and Great One peers through it._) "I quite agree
with you." (_After long inspection_) "You might make a note of it."

STAFF OFFICER: "Just make a note of that, will you?"

ADJUTANT (_makes note_): "Make a note of it, Bill, will you?"

PLATOON COMMANDER (_recovering slightly from stupor_): "Make a note of
what?"

MACHINE-GUN OFFICER: "All right, old boy. It's my pidgeon." (_Sotto
voce to SAPPER_) "I've had a gun there for the last two nights."
(_Aloud to OMNES_) "An excellent place, sir. I'll see to it."

SAPPER (_to M.G.O., with seeming irrelevance_): "Well, when he got to
the house he was told she was having a bath, and----" Procession moves
on, while infuriated sentry on sap duty misses the point of the story.
And that is the right way of touring the trenches.

Unfortunately General Firebrace was a new broom. It was quite
permissible for him to do what he did, but, as I said before, I am
doubtful if it was altogether wise. In a moment of rashness he decided
to go round the trenches alone. As a matter of fact, at the moment of
this resolve the Brigade-Major was out, the evening was fine, and the
General was energetic. Perfect peace reigned over that portion of the
battle area which concerned him, and he was anxious to see that the
arrangement of sentry groups in the various sap-heads met with his
approval. His predecessor, he recalled, had had words with the still
greater ones of the earth anent a couple of small, but nevertheless
regretta