INS, F-WL-R AND
G-SCH-N.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: ASSISTED EDUCATION.

_Christabel._ "I SAY, JACK, HOW EVER DO YOU DEFINE THE EQUATOR?"

_Jack_ (_who has been to the Circus_). "ISN'T IT A MENAGERIE LION THAT
GOES ROUND THE WORLD?"

[_Jack has learnt about "the Imaginary Line," and got the answer a
little mixed._]]

* * * * *

THE VILLAGE BEAUTY AND THE RIVAL SWAINS.

_An Easter Eclogue._

_Chloe_ Miss HODGE
_Corydon_ H. H. F-WL-R
_Strephon_ J. G. G-SCH-N.

_Corydon_ (_smirking_). I have found out a gift for _my_ fair,
Such as sugary SHENSTONE ne'er found!
_Strephon_ (_aside, sniffing_). His bowpot's made up, I declare,
Half of flowers he's filched from _my_ ground!
_Chloe_ (_pirouetting_). Oh la! What a lovely bokay!
That for _me!_ Oh, you're awfully kyind!
_Corydon_ (_ogling_). Ah! I've loved you this many a day!
_Strephon_ (_sighing_). And for years you've been first in my mind!
_Chloe_ (_aside_). My! Isn't it nice to be courted like this?
I believe I could buy 'em both up with a kiss!

_Corydon_ (_gloating_). Love, you dance just as PERDITA danced!
You must be a Princess in disguise.
_Strephon_ (_aside_). And not long since he swore that she pranced
Likes a clown who contends for a prize.
_Chloe_ (_bridling_). _Me_ a Princess? Oh la! that's your fun.
You know that my feyther was HODGE!
_Strephon_ (_aside_). Of course; but, providing she's won,
He'll descend to the paltriest dodge.
_Corydon_ (_effusively_).
You're the Pride of the Village, and fashioned to rule
In the Cottage, the Council, the Church, and the School!

_Chloe_ (_coyly_). You're a flattering of me, young man!
_Corydon_ (_ardently_). If I am, maay I forfeit your--Vote!
_Chloe._ Well, of course, I will do what I can,
As the Parish-princess, to promote
The--what is it you want me to do?
Yes, the Poor--and the Ditches--and Drains,
The Rates--I do hope _they_'ll be few!
The Allotments--I trust they'll be gains!
But the Squire and the Parson? Oh! CORYDON mine,
When _they_ hear what you've done, _won't_ they kick up a shine?

_Corydon_ (_brusquely_). Oh! the Squire and the Parson be--blowed!
All too long they've been cocks o' the walk.
_Strephon_ (_eagerly_). Quite right! How this buzzum has glowed
Your twin tyrants to baff