* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WAY TO GET ON.

_Fair Amateur Palmist (who has kissed the Blarney Stone)._ "I'M SORRY
TO SAY, DEAR LADY CROESUS, THAT YOU WILL HAVE A SERIOUS ILLNESS AT
FORTY!"]

* * * * *

A DELICATE QUESTION.

[In the pages of the _Author_ Mr. BESANT suggests, that "the Society
of Authors should undertake the examination of journalists."]

O zealous Mr. BESANT, we have heard with consternation
Of this, the latest project of your ever-busy band;
Each journalist, apparently, must pass examination,
Lest any deal with matters which he does not understand.

You're horrified to notice at performances dramatic
A row of so-called critics, knowing nothing of the play;
You mean to make essential an acquaintance with the Attic,
In all allowed to comment on the drama of to-day.

With ample stock of history and other knowledge, clearly,
The man who writes on politics must show himself supplied,
The taste of all reviewers will be criticised severely,
The Sporting Sage must qualify in papers on _Ruff's Guide_.

No doubt your plan is laudable, but then we find it printed
That novelists to manage all the scheme will be allowed,
And since they love reviewers not, it may, perhaps, be hinted,
That every man alive of us is certain to be ploughed!

Moreover, on reflection, quite excusably one fancies
That, if so great advantage in the system you discern,
Its use should be extended to the weavers of romances,
And you and other novelists should suffer in your turn!

And so, if we may venture on a practical suggestion,
Assuming that your postulate's indubitably true,
And all should be examined--there must yet remain the question,
_Custodes quis custodiet?_--For who'll examine _you?_

* * * * *

WINES OR MINES?--Mrs. R. has on several occasions heard gentlemen
talking of "passing the Rubicon," and she wants to know whether this
is a Bill in Parliament about the Ruby Mines, or whether it is a
modern expression for what was many years ago, as she was informed by
her grandfather, a slang after-dinner phrase--"Pass the Ruby," _i.e._,
the wine?

* * * * *

HOLIDAY TASKS FOR THE RECESS.

_The Pr-m-r._ To rest and sample (under the personal supervision of
Mrs. G.) Home Rule.

_The Marquis of S-l-sb-ry._ To forget the speec