s. But look him steadily and quietly in the face,
and say--"Upon my word, I think you are the _ugliest fellow_ I ever
saw in my life," and he will instantly roll forth the brazen thunders
of the charioteer Salmoneus as follows:--"_Hugly_! what the h--ll are
_you_? _You_ a _gentleman_! Why ----!" So much easier it is to
_provoke_--and therefore to vindicate--(for passion punishes him who
_feels_ it more than those whom the passionate would excruciate)--by
a few quiet words the aggressor, than by retorting violently. The
"coals of fire" of the Scripture are _benefits_;--but they are not
the less "coals of _fire_."

I pass over a page of quotation and reprobation--"Sin up to my
song"--"Oh let my little bark"--"Arcades ambo"--"Writer in the
Quarterly Review and himself"--"In-door avocations, indeed"--"King of
Brentford"--"One nosegay"--"Perennial nosegay"--"Oh Juvenes,"--and
the like.

Page 12. produces "more reasons,"--(the task ought not to have been
difficult, for as yet there were none)--"to show why Mr. Bowles
attributed the critique in the Quarterly to Octavius Gilchrist." All
these "reasons" consist of _surmises_ of Mr. Bowles, upon the
presumed character of his opponent. "He did not suppose there could
exist a man in the kingdom so _impudent_, &c. &c. except Octavius
Gilchrist."--"He did not think there was a man in the kingdom who
would _pretend ignorance_, &c. &c. except Octavius Gilchrist."--"He
did not conceive that one man in the kingdom would utter such stupid
flippancy, &c. &c. except Octavius Gilchrist."--"He did not think
there was one man in the kingdom who, &c. &c. could so utterly show
his ignorance, _combined with conceit_, &c. as Octavius
Gilchrist."--"He did not believe there was a man in the kingdom so
perfect in Mr. Gilchrist's 'old lunes,'" &c. &c.--"He did not think
the _mean mind_ of any one in the kingdom," &c. and so on; always
beginning with "any one in the kingdom," and ending with "Octavius
Gilchrist," like the word in a catch. I am not "in the kingdom," and
have not been much in the kingdom since I was one and twenty, (about
five years in the whole, since I was of age,) and have no desire to
be in the kingdom again, whilst I breathe, nor to sleep there
afterwards; and I regret nothing more than having ever been "in the
kingdom" at all. But though no longer a man "in the kingdom," let me
hope that when I have ceased to exist, it may be said, as was
answered by the master of Clanronald's h