the back-garden." (_You do know_
MINCING--_and you cannot help inwardly wondering at the absurd
vanity of the man_--_a mere nobody, away from the City!_) "Between
ourselves," says your interviewer, candidly, having possibly observed
your expression, "I am by no means sure that I shall feel warranted
in allotting Alderman MINCING as much space as I fear he will consider
himself entitled to. Alderman MINCING, though a highly respectable
man, does _not_ appeal to the popular imagination as others I could
mention do--he is just a _little_ commonplace!" ("_Shrewd follow,
this!" you think to yourself--"Got_ MINCING's _measure!_") "But I
should feel it an honour, indeed, if such a man as yourself, now,
would give me all the personal information you think proper to make
public, while, as a specimen of what Norwood can do in luxurious and
artistic domestic fittings, this house, Sir, would be invaluable! I
do trust that you will see your way to--" (_At first, you suggest that
you must talk it over with your Wife--but you presently see that if_
MINCING _and men of that calibre are to be in this, you cannot, for
your own sake, hold aloof, and so your Visitor soon has his note-book
out._) "Any remarkable traits recorded of you as an infant, Mr. LANE?
A strong aversion to porridge, and an antipathy to black-beetles--both
of which you still retain? Thank you, _very_ much. And you were
educated? At Dulborough Grammar School? Just _so_! Never took to
Latin, or learned Greek? Commercial aptitudes declaring themselves
thus early--curious, _indeed_! Entered your father's office as
clerk? Became a partner? Married your present lady--when? In 1860?
Exactly!--and have offspring? Your subsequent life comparatively
uneventful? That will do admirably--infinitely obliged to you, I am
sure. It would be useless to ask you if you would care to have a copy
of the work, when issued, forwarded to you--we can do it for you at
the very nominal sum of two guineas, if paid in advance--a gratifying
possession for your children after you have gone, Mr. LANE! I _may_
put you down? Thank you. For _two_ copies?" (_On second thoughts,
you do order two copies; you can send one out to your married
Sister in Australia_--_it will amuse her._) "One, two, three, four
guineas--_quite_ correct, Mr. LANE, and you shall have an early
opportunity of revising a proof, and we will send down a competent
artist, in a day or two, to take the photographs. Quite an agreeable
cha