I told her that Sylvander
remembered his oath, and could never forget his Calista. The answer I
received from her was exceedingly unsatisfactory and inexplicit; that
from Mr. Runt explicit enough, but not at all pleasant in its contents.
My Lord George Poynings, the Marquess of Tiptoff's younger son, was
paying very marked addresses to the widow; being a kinsman of the
family, and having been called to Ireland relative to the will of the
deceased Sir Charles Lyndon.

Now, there was a sort of rough-and-ready law in Ireland in those days,
which was of great convenience to persons desirous of expeditious
justice; and of which the newspapers of the time contain a hundred
proofs. Fellows with the nicknames of Captain Fireball, Lieutenant
Buffcoat, and Ensign Steele, were repeatedly sending warning letters
to landlords, and murdering them if the notes were unattended to. The
celebrated Captain Thunder ruled in the southern counties, and his
business seemed to be to procure wives for gentlemen who had not
sufficient means to please the parents of the young ladies; or, perhaps,
had not time for a long and intricate courtship.

I had found my cousin Ulick at Dublin, grown very fat, and very poor;
hunted up by Jews and creditors: dwelling in all sorts of queer corners,
from which he issued at nightfall to the Castle, or to his card-party at
his tavern; but he was always the courageous fellow: and I hinted to him
the state of my affections regarding Lady Lyndon.

'The Countess of Lyndon!' said poor Ulick; 'well, that IS a wonder. I
myself have been mightily sweet upon a young lady, one of the Kiljoys of
Ballyhack, who has ten thousand pounds to her fortune, and to whom her
Ladyship is guardian; but how is a poor fellow without a coat to his
back to get on with an heiress in such company as that? I might as well
propose for the Countess myself.'

'You had better not,' said I, laughing; 'the man who tries runs a
chance of going out of the world first.' And I explained to him my own
intention regarding Lady Lyndon. Honest Ulick, whose respect for me was
prodigious when he saw how splendid my appearance was, and heard how
wonderful my adventures and great my experience of fashionable life had
been, was lost in admiration of my daring and energy, when I confided to
him my intention of marrying the greatest heiress in England.

I bade Ulick go out of town on any pretext he chose, and put a letter
into a post-office near Castle Lyn