conjugal line, and how near I had been winning the
greatest fortune in Germany. 'Do anything but marry, my artless Irish
rustic' (he called me by a multiplicity of queer names). 'Cultivate your
great talents in the gambling line; but mind this, that a woman will
beat you.'

That I denied; mentioning several instances in which I had conquered the
most intractable tempers among the sex.

'They will beat you in the long run, my Tipperary Alcibiades. As soon
as you are married, take my word of it, you are conquered. Look at me. I
married my cousin, the noblest and greatest heiress in England--married
her in spite of herself almost' (here a dark shade passed over Sir
Charles Lyndon's countenance). 'She is a weak woman. You shall see her,
sir, HOW weak she is; but she is my mistress. She has embittered my
whole life. She is a fool; but she has got the better of one of the best
heads in Christendom. She is enormously rich; but somehow I have never
been so poor as since I married her. I thought to better myself; and
she has made me miserable and killed me. And she will do as much for my
successor, when I am gone.'

'Has her Ladyship a very large income?' said I. At which Sir Charles
burst out into a yelling laugh, and made me blush not a little at my
gaucherie; for the fact is, seeing him in the condition in which he was,
I could not help speculating upon the chance a man of spirit might have
with his widow.

'No, no!' said he, laughing. 'Waugh hawk, Mr. Barry; don't think, if
you value your peace of mind, to stand in my shoes when they are vacant.
Besides, I don't think my Lady Lyndon would QUITE condescend to marry
a'----

'Marry a what, sir?' said I, in a rage.

"Never mind what: but the man who gets her will rue it, take my word
on't. A plague on her! had it not been for my father's ambition and mine
(he was her uncle and guardian, and we wouldn't let such a prize out of
the family), I might have died peaceably, at least; carried my gout down
to my grave in quiet, lived in my modest tenement in Mayfair, had every
house in England open to me; and now, now I have six of my own, and
every one of them is a hell to me. Beware of greatness, Mr. Barry. Take
warning by me. Ever since I have been married and have been rich, I have
been the most miserable wretch in the world. Look at me. I am dying a
worn-out cripple at the age of fifty. Marriage has added forty years to
my life. When I took off Lady Lyndon, there was no man