the rest of the company) by
the manner in which it was done.

What is more disgusting than the familiarity of a snob? What more
loathsome than the swaggering quackery of some present holders of the
hammer? There was a late sale, for instance, which made some noise in
the world (I mean the late Lord Gimcrack's, at Dilberry Hill). Ah! what
an opportunity was lost there! I declare solemnly that I believe, but
for the absurd quackery and braggadocio of the advertisements, much
more money would have been bid; people were kept away by the vulgar
trumpeting of the auctioneer, and could not help thinking the things
were worthless that were so outrageously lauded.

They say that sort of Bartholomew-fair advocacy (in which people
are invited to an entertainment by the medium of a hoarse yelling
beef-eater, twenty-four drums, and a jack-pudding turning head over
heels) is absolutely necessary to excite the public attention. What an
error! I say that the refined individual so accosted is more likely to
close his ears, and, shuddering, run away from the booth. Poor Horace
Waddlepoodle! to think that thy gentle accumulation of bricabrac should
have passed away in such a manner! by means of a man who brings down
a butterfly with a blunderbuss, and talks of a pin's head through a
speaking-trumpet! Why, the auctioneer's very voice was enough to crack
the Sevres porcelain and blow the lace into annihilation. Let it be
remembered that I speak of the gentleman in his public character merely,
meaning to insinuate nothing more than I would by stating that Lord
Brougham speaks with a northern accent, or that the voice of Mr. Shell
is sometimes unpleasantly shrill.

Now the character I have formed to myself of a great auctioneer is this.
I fancy him a man of first-rate and irreproachable birth and fashion. I
fancy his person so agreeable that it must be a pleasure for ladies to
behold and tailors to dress it. As a private man he must move in the
very best society, which will flock round his pulpit when he mounts
it in his public calling. It will be a privilege for vulgar people to
attend the hall where he lectures; and they will consider it an honor to
be allowed to pay their money for articles the value of which is stamped
by his high recommendation. Nor can such a person be a mere fribble; nor
can any loose hanger-on of fashion imagine he may assume the character.
The gentleman auctioneer must be an artist above all, adoring his
professi