d look after them, and wash and dress the
pair.

"And, Miss HARKER, it will save us such a lot of trouble too,
If, when our servants leave us, they can leave their work to you.
So you'll please to cook our dinner, let your motto be _Ich Dien_,
(No, no, you needn't thank us) and you'll keep our dishes clean.

"And, of course, you'll do it daily--what was that you dared to say?
You would like to rest a week or so, and want a holiday?
Who ever heard such nonsense? Well, there's one thing we can show,
Not politeness, but the door to you--Miss H. you'd better go."

So she went, but brought her action, and I'm thankful to relate
That when the case was argued she hadn't long to wait.
"Costs and judgment for the plaintiff, the defendants' case is
fudge,
Pay her monthly wage, she's earned it and deserves it," said the
Judge.

There be Englishmen in England, sleek men, and women too,
Who tie their purse-strings tighter than tradition's grasping Jew.
What care they for fellow-feeling, who for profit try to lure
Fellow creatures to their grindstone for the faces of the poor?

And they set some wretched slave to work her fingers to the bone,
Then sullenly deny her bread, or give at best a stone;
And after she has grubbed and scrubbed, they insolently sneer
At one who dares to ask for rest on L15 a-year.
* * * * *

[Illustration: "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, ASK A P'LICEMAN!"

_As Sung by the Not-quite-at-Home Secretary in his Unpopular
Entertainment._

WHY _DID_ MONRO RESIGN?
WAS IT ANY FAULT OF MINE?

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH--
ASK THE P'LICEMAN!]

* * * * *

"ASK A P'LICEMAN!"

MR. M-TTH-WS _sings_:--

The Police Force are a noble lot,
They clear our streets and squares;
To Demonstrators give it hot,
And banish civic scares.
But there's one thing I wish to know;
Why do the public grin
When one Commissioner will go,
And t'other won't stop in?

_Chorus._

Why _did_ MONRO resign?
Ask a P'liceman!
Was it any fault of mine?
Ask a P'liceman!
Every member of the Force
Backs the popular Boss--of course!
If you want to know the truth,
Ask a P'liceman!

I'm very sure I'm always right,
And yet it's vastly queer,
My Secretary's aid they slight,
My Pension-projects jeer.
My Super