olitan Police Force,"
the Memorial stated, as quoted in the _Times_ of June 13, urged
the Government to concede, among other demands, this, which sounds
peculiar:--

"Duty to consist of eight hours (in one shift) out of _every_
twenty-four."

The words in brackets are a puzzle. Is "shift" a misprint for "shirt"?
Is a Policeman now compelled to wear more than one of these in every
twenty-four hours? Is it flannel or linen? We confess that we do not
understand this, which we may fairly designate as "The Washerwoman's
Clause."

* * * * *

PEREGRINUS JOCOSUS writes thus:--"Sir,--I was visiting Tintern Abbey.
Admission is by a gateway, close to which is an instruction to ring
the bell. How much simpler and pleasanter if the proprietor had
written up, 'Tinternabbeylate!'--Yours, much pleased, P. J."

* * * * *

ON ARMY EXAMS.--As long as Examinations are what they are, cramming
is a necessity. Therefore, _Mr. Punch_ has only one retort to present
objections to cramming, and that is--"Stuff!"

* * * * *

RECKING THE REDE LECTURE.

"His paramount aim was to make the world better by the
humanising influences of literature."--_Professor Jebb on
Erasmus._

FRIEND of COLET and of MORE,
Genial wit and learned scholar,
Never pedant, prig, or bore.
Dulness and the Mighty Dollar
Rule too much our world of books;
Slang, sensation, crass stupidity;
Talk of "oof" and prate of "spooks,"
Sciolism, sheer aridity;
Smartness, which is folly decked
In true humour's cast-off raiment,
Clap-trap which has never recked
Aught save chance of praise and payment;
These our literature infest,
No ERASMUS now arising,
Style to purge and taste to test
In the way of "humanising."
Could you but come back to us,
How you'd flay sensation-mongers,
Gird at gush, and flout at fuss,
Chasten morbid thirsts and hungers:
Puncture philosophic sham,
"Blugginess," the coarse erotic;
Show up callow Cockney "cram,"
Logic shallow, thought chaotic;
Lash our later Euphuism,
And the pseudo-Ciceronian;
Rottenness of "Realism,"
Battening in its bogs Serbonian.
Thanks, O philosophic JEBB!
In this age of advertising,
Literature, at a low ebb,
Needs a little "humanising."

* * * * *

"ON, STANLEY!"--The officer w