gh
on his hands without having to deal with the sorrows of Great Britons.

"'At Spalla deMonte.'

"'When?'

"'On Wednesday last, the 23d.'

"'What do you want me to do with them?'

"'To punish them, of course.'

"'How--in what way?'

"'How do I know? Send them to jail.'

"'For how long?'

"'A month if you can--a fortnight at least.'

"'What are the names?' asked the Prefect, who all this time continued to
write, filling up certain blanks in some printed formula before him.

"'How should I know their names? I can only say that one was the cook,
the other the waiter.'

"'There!' said the Prefect, tossing two sheets of printed and
written-over paper towards him--'there! tell the landlord to fill in the
fellows' names and surnames, and send that document to the Podesta. They
shall have four weeks, and with hard labour.'

"The Englishman went his way rejoicing. He despatched the missive, and
felt his injuries were avenged.

"Two days after, however, a friend dropped in, and in the course of
conversation mentioned that he had just come from Spalla de Monte, where
he had dined so well and met such an intelligent waiter; 'which, I own,'
said he, 'surprised me, for I had heard of their having insulted some
traveller last week very grossly.'

"The Englishman hurried off to the Prefecture. 'We are outraged,
insulted, laughed at!' cried he: 'those fellows you ordered to prison
are at large. They mock your authority and despise it.'

"A mounted messenger was sent off at speed to bring up the landlord to
Messina, and he appeared the next morning, pale with fear and trembling.
He owned that the Prefect's order had duly reached him, that he had
understood it thoroughly; 'but, Eccellenza,' said he, crying, 'it was
the shooting season; people were dropping in every day. Where was I to
find a cook or a waiter? I must have closed the house if I parted with
them; so, not to throw contempt on your worship's order, I sent two
of the stablemen to jail in their place, and a deal of good it will do
them.'"

While I was laughing heartily at this story, my companion turned towards
the gendarme and said, "Have you made a note of his teeth? you see they
are tolerably regular, but one slightly overlaps the other in front."

"Signor Generale," said the other, reddening, "I'll make a note of
_your_ tongue, which will do quite as well."

"Bravo!" said the Garibaldian; "better said than I could have given you
credit for. I'll no