at quality this excellence is derivable; but there is the fact,
warranted and confirmed by a statistical return, that but for Chiavari
we should have no barrel-organs.

"Never imagine," said a wise prelate, "that you will root Popery out of
England till you destroy Oxford. If you want to get rid of the crows,
you must pull down the rookery." The words of wisdom flashed suddenly
over my mind as I walked across the silent Piazza at midnight; and I
exclaimed--"Yes! here is the true remedy for the evil. With two hours
of a gunboat and four small Armstrongs the thing is done; batter down
Chiavari, and Bab-bage will bless you with his last breath. Pull down
the cookery, and crush the young rooks in the ruins. Smash the cradle
and the babe within it, and you need not fear the man!"

There is a grand justice in the conception that is highly elevating.
There is something eminently fine in making Chiavari, like the Cities
of the Plain, a monument over its own iniquity. Leave not one stone upon
another of it, and there will be peace in our homes and stillness in our
streets. No more shall the black-bearded tormentor terrorise over Baker
Street, or lord it in the Edgeware Road.

Commander Snort of the Sneezer will in a brief forenoon emancipate
not only Europe and America, but the dweller beyond Jordan and the
inhabitant of the diggings by Bendigo. Lay Chiavari in ashes, and you
will no longer need Inspector D, nor ask aid from the head-office. Here
is what the age especially worships, a remedy combining cheapness
with efficiency. It may be said that we have no more right to destroy
Chiavari than Kagosima, but that question is at least debatable. Are not
the headaches of tens of thousands of more avail than the head of one?
What becomes of that noble principle, the greatest happiness of the
greatest number? The Italians, too, might object: true, but they are
neither Americans nor French. They come into the category of states that
may be bullied. The countries which have an extended seaboard and weak
naval armaments are like people with a large glass frontage and no
shutters. There is nothing to prevent us shying a stone at the Italian
window as we pass up to Constantinople, even though we run away
afterwards. I repeat, therefore, the plan is feasible. As to its
cheapness, it would not cost a tithe of what we spent in destroying the
tea-tray fortifications of Satsuma; and as we have a classic turn for
monuments, a pyramid of barre