sire to repent is repentance itself,
though not in nature, yet in God's acceptance; a willing mind is
sufficient. "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness,"
Matt. v. 6. He that is destitute of God's grace, and wisheth for it, shall
have it. "The Lord" (saith David, Psal. x. 17) "will hear the desire of the
poor," that is, such as are in distress of body and mind. 'Tis true thou
canst not as yet grieve for thy sin, thou hast no feeling of faith, I
yield; yet canst thou grieve thou dost not grieve? It troubles thee, I am
sure, thine heart should be so impenitent and hard, thou wouldst have it
otherwise; 'tis thy desire to grieve, to repent, and to believe. Thou
lovest God's children and saints in the meantime, hatest them not,
persecutest them not, but rather wishest thyself a true professor, to be as
they are, as thou thyself hast been heretofore; which is an evident token
thou art in no such desperate case. 'Tis a good sign of thy conversion, thy
sins are pardonable, thou art, or shalt surely be reconciled. "The Lord is
near them that are of a contrite heart," Luke iv. 18. [6784]A true desire
of mercy in the want of mercy, is mercy itself; a desire of grace in the
want of grace, is grace itself; a constant and earnest desire to believe,
repent, and to be reconciled to God, if it be in a touched heart, is an
acceptation of God, a reconciliation, faith and repentance itself. For it
is not thy faith and repentance, as [6785]Chrysostom truly teacheth, that
is available, but God's mercy that is annexed to it, He accepts the will
for the deed: so that I conclude, to feel in ourselves the want of grace,
and to be grieved for it, is grace itself. I am troubled with fear my sins
are not forgiven, Careless objects: but Bradford answers they are; "For God
hath given thee a penitent and believing heart, that is, a heart which
desireth to repent and believe; for such an one is taken of him (he
accepting the will for the deed) for a truly penitent and believing heart."

All this is true thou repliest, but yet it concerns not thee, 'tis verified
in ordinary offenders, in common sins, but thine are of a higher strain,
even against the Holy Ghost himself, irremissible sins, sins of the first
magnitude, written with a pen of iron, engraven with a point of a diamond.
Thou art worse than a pagan, infidel, Jew, or Turk, for thou art an
apostate and more, thou hast voluntarily blasphemed, renounced God and all
religion, tho