punishment is never used in this home; a determined but mild mother
has taught the children to obey voluntarily, and has known how to train
their wills to self-control.

By "voluntary obedience," I do not mean that the child is bound to ask
endless questions for reasons, and to dispute them before he obeys. A
good teacher never gives a command without there being some good reason,
but whether the child is convinced or not, he must always obey, and if
he asks "why" the answer is very simple; every one, adults as well as
children, must obey the right and must submit to what cannot be avoided.
The great necessity in life must be imprinted in childhood. This can
be done without harsh means by training the child, even previous to his
birth, by cultivating one's self-control, and after his birth by never
giving in to a child's caprices. The rule is, in a few cases, to work
in opposition to the action of the child, but in other cases work
constructively; I mean provide the child with material to construct his
own personality and then let him do this work of construction. This is,
in brief, the art of education. The worst of all educational methods are
threats. The only effective admonitions are short and infrequent ones.
The greatest skill in the educator is to be silent for the moment and
then so reprove the fault, indirectly, that the child is brought to
correct himself or make himself the object of blame. This can be done
by the instructor telling something that causes the child to compare his
own conduct with the hateful or admirable types of behaviour about which
he hears information. Or the educator may give an opinion which the
child must take to himself although it is not applied directly to him.

On many occasions a forceful display of indignation on the part of the
elder person is an excellent punishment, if the indignation is reserved
for the right moment. I know children to whom nothing was more frightful
than their father's scorn; this was dreaded. Children who are deluged
with directions and religious devotions, who receive an ounce of
morality in every cup of joy, are most certain to be those who will
revolt against all this. Nearly every thinking person feels that the
deepest educational influences in his life have been indirect; some good
advice not given to him directly; a noble deed told without any direct
reference. But when people come themselves to train others they forget
all their own personal experienc