an outspoken temperance organ.
We have never claimed that for it. We have simply claimed that, so far
as we are personally concerned, we could take liquor or we could let it
alone. That has always been our theory. We still make that claim. Others
have said the same thing, but were unable to do as they advertised. We
have been taking it right along, between meals for ten years. We now
propose, and so state in the prospectus, that we will let it alone. We
leave the public to judge whether or not we can do what we claim."

[Illustration]

After the foreman had set up the above editorial, he went in to speak to
the editor, but he was still slumbering. He shook him mildly, but he did
not wake. Then Elijah took him by the collar and lifted him up so that
he could see the editor's face.

It was a pale, still face, firm in its new resolution to forever "let it
alone." On the temple and under the heavy sweep of brown hair there was
a powder-burned spot and the cruel affidavit of the "Smith & Wesson"
that our wife had obtained her decree.

The editor of the _Pizenweed_ had demonstrated at he could drink or he
could let it alone.

My Bachelor Chum

O a corpulent man is my bachelor chum,
With a neck apoplectic and thick,
And an abdomen on him as big as a drum,
And a fist big enough for the stick;
With a walk that for grace is clear out of the case,
And a wobble uncertain--as though
His little bow-legs had forgotten the pace
That in youth used to favor him so.

He is forty, at least; and the top of his head
Is a bald and a glittering thing;
And his nose and his two chubby cheeks are as red
As three rival roses in spring.
His mouth is a grin with the corners tucked in
And his laugh is so breezy and bright
That it ripples his features and dimples his chin
With a billowy look of delight.

He is fond of declaring he "don't care a straw"--
That "the ills of a bachelor's life
Are blisses compared with a mother-in-law,
And a boarding-school miss for a wife!"
So he smokes, and he drinks, and he jokes and he winks,
And he dines, and he wines all alone,
With a thumb ever ready to snap as he thinks
Of the comforts he never has known.

But up in his den--(Ah, my bachelor chum!)
I have sat with him there in the gloom,
When the laugh of his lips died away to bec