he
world's series was because he was the greatest actor that ever moaned
for the star's dressin'-room.

He was brought on to play the lead in one of them early Roman frolics
where the extry people is called "martyrs" and hurled to the practical
lions in the last reel, whilst the emperor raises his hand for the
slaughter to begin, murmurin' "This is the end of a perfect day!" When
Jason Van Ness walked to the middle of the arena, throwed one end of
his cloak over his shoulder, faced the camera and give himself up to
actin'--well, you forgot all his bad habits and thanked Heaven for
lettin' you live to see him!

That baby was there!

He was stuck up, he had no friends, he wouldn't laugh, and he had a
trick name and carried a dresser, but, Sweet Papa!--he was _some_ actor!

The Kid and me stood watchin' him the first time he worked, with our
eyes and mouths as open as a mobile crap tourney.

"Ain't he a bear?" asks Eddie Duke, comin' up. "That's all two-dollar
stuff he's pullin' there, bo! Y' don't see actin' like that every day,
eh?"

"Oh, I don't know!" says the Kid, takin' a fresh slant at Van Ness. "I
bet I could give him a battle in Shakespeare, at that! I was a riot in
'Richard the Third,' wasn't I?"

"Cease!" sneers Duke. "This bird has got them classics layin' down and
rollin' over when he snaps his fingers. Did you ever see him in 'Quo
Vadis'?"

"No!" says the Kid. "But I seen him in tights when they was--"

Just then Miss Vincent comes along. She's in the picture with Van
Ness, playin' the beautiful Christian martyr which is tied to the
lion's back in the fourth reel, because she won't quit chantin' "Now I
lay me--" or somethin' like that. After that they throw her to the
panthers with Abe Mendelowitz, another Christian martyr and the guy
that built the scene. She told me that was the story of the thing, and
asked me what I thought of it. Personally, I think them martyrs was a
lot of boobs. If I'd have been there, I would have bent the knee
before them heathen idols and then done my private prayin' elsewhere.
The head martyr might have called me yellah, but no lion would have
broke his fast on me!

While I'm thinkin' about this, Miss Vincent reminds me that she's
waitin' for my verdict on the thing. The last I heard her say was
about bein' tied to that lion.

"Well," I says, "I'll tell you. I think it's pretty soft for the lions
myself and--"

"How are you and Stupid gettin' along?