for that purpose. It was a
terrible throwdown, and Van Ness nearly grinned, but G. Herbert gamely
tried a giggle that sounded like the squeak of a stepped-on rat.

While Helen Dear is gettin' into a coat that couldn't have cost a
nickel under five thousand bucks, the Kid gets up and calls Van Ness
and G. Herbert aside. They was gone about five minutes. When they
came back, Helen Dear is just puttin' on her hat and suddenly the thing
slips out of her hands and slides down over one eye.

Then--excuse me a minute, I'm in convulsions! I'll never forget it if
I live to see Bryan vote against prohibition! There's Helen Dear
gettin' red in the face and strugglin' with that hat and--

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" shrieks Van Ness--_the guy that had lost his
laugher_!--"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" he yells, holdin' the chair so's he can
stand up and pointin' at Helen's hat. "You ought to go in vaudeville!"
he hollers. "You'd be a riot with that act! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Miss Vincent gasps, the Kid grins, and I all but fainted. Here's this
guy laughin' his head off for the first time in ten years and--look at
the time he picked to do it! Sweet Cookie!

Helen Dear turns eighteen shades of red and fights for her breath like
a fish when you drag it over the side of the boat. Then up steps
little G. Herbert. His eyes is kinda glassy, but his face is set and
hard. His spine is as straight as a flag pole and he sticks a piece of
glass over one eye, just like Van Ness used to do! Dignity? Why he
could have took Van Ness when that guy was right--_and give him
lessons_!

"What does this mean, sir!" he says, walkin' up to Van Ness who is
holdin' his sides and fallin' off the chair. Laugh? That bird was in
hysterics!

"Ha, ha, ha!" bellers Van Ness. "Get a couple of good camera men
quick! Ha, ha, ha, ha! It looks like she got hit with a pie!"

"You infernal idiot!" roars G. Herbert. "How dare you laugh at this
lady?"

"Oh, boy!" answers Van Ness, finally rollin' off his chair. "Ha, ha,
ha, ha!"

"Come, Herbert!" pipes Helen. "We will go back together and my answer
is Yes! Thank Heaven that man stands exposed in his true character!"

"Thas' right!" nods Herbert, waggin' his head and glarin' at all of us.
"C'mon--hic--Cmon, M' dear!"

Somethin' comes staggerin' up and grabs the Kid by the arm. It was
Tony.

"Aha!" he yells. "Who'sa taka my bottle gin, bottle bourbon?
_Sapristi_! You bigga stiffa, I--"

The Kid giv