splutters Van Ness, his face as red as a ale-hound's
nose. "What do you mean by that?"

"'Scuse a me!" says Tony. "Don't get mad for Tony. No spika da
Engleesh very gooda--maybe I maka meestake! Joe he'sa writa me come
over Santa Francisco queek, because he'sa gotta the trouble wif he'sa
landlord. Disa fel' he'sa a wanta da rent maybe, I don't know, but Joe
he'sa wanta me bring something so he'sa can feex disa fel' nex' time he
come around, you 'stanna me? He say he'sa a bigga fel'--tougha nut!
Yesterday I go out and getta wan gun for Joe. Then I teenk maybe that
ain't enough for poor leetle Joe against thisa bigga stiffa landlord,
so I stoppa drugga store, hardaware, meata store, five, six, sevena
place and get somet'ing for Joe he'sa feex landlord. Then I hear thisa
fel' say he'sa gonna feexa _you_!" Tony swings around and points at
the Kid. "Tony he'sa don't care if thisa bigga stiffa he's a champion
for the world. Tony he's a gotta knifa, gun, dynamite, carbolic acida,
everything for fighta. I talka to heem sweeta and he'sa knocka me down
wit' a hook! While I sleepa on the dirt, somebody she'sa taka my gooda
carbolic acida and stiletto I getta for Joe!"

"Oh, Lady!" yells the Kid, slappin' me on the back. "This guy is a
riot!"

"You may go to the hotel, Antonio," says Van Ness, "and await me there.
I am surprised and grieved at your beastly conduct!"

Tony hands Van Ness a gun and the bottle of nitro-glycerine.

"Alla right!" he says. "Tony he'sa go. But watcha this two fel' they
wanna feexa you. The little fel' you can shoota--but the bigga stiffa
whosa knocka me down, he'sa needa more than that! Taka thisa bottle
and throw it at heem harda. That'sa blow heem away so far, it taka
four thousand dollar for heem to come back on sheepa, thirda class!"

Van Ness puts the gun and the nitro in Tony's pocket.

"Begone, sir!" he says. "I'll jolly well attend to you later!"

Tony gathers up his junk and throwin' a last glare at me and the Kid,
beats it.

Van Ness turns to the Kid, stickin' the eyeglass back in the toga.

"Ah--and now, Scanlan," he says, "will you be good enough to explain
the cause of the--ah--bitter animosity you have for me?"

The Kid frowns and scratches his head.

"Somebody has been kiddin' you," he tells him. "I ain't got _nothin'_
for you! Where d'ye get that animosity thing?"

Van Ness sighs so hard it like to blowed our hats off.

"It is beastly plain to me," he