on
"tick"--you see I was determined to have them. By-and-bye, it reached the
ears of my father that I was going "reight in for t'business." However,
the day fixed for the first performance came round, and then the
performance commenced.

TRICKING POLICEMAN LEACH

The curtain had risen and all was going on nicely when on the stage,
behind the wings, appeared a policeman--a real policeman--a policeman to
the heart, into the bargain! "Robert" turned out to be nobody else than
my old friend, Mr James Leach, now of Balmoral House, The Esplanade,
Keighley: this, I ought to mention, was my first meeting with Mr Leach.
My father it seemed, had heard definitely that I should be acting that
night, and so he had induced Police-constable Leach (No. 5678, X
division, A.1.), to look after me. Well, as I said before, P.C. Leach
came on the stage. I happened to be the first soul he encountered. Says
he to me: "Have you got a young man here called William Wright?" [I saw
he did not "ken" me.] Says I to him: "I have not." Says he to me: "I want
that lad, wherever he is; his father has sent me for him, and if he won't
go home I have to take him to the lock-up." The last word rather
frightened me; but I managed to say to him: "To save you a deal of
trouble, sir, young Wright isn't going to play in this piece at all,"
and, with that, directed him down the staircase. I was allowed to go on
with my acting without interruption after that; but I hadn't to go on the
stage another night. My parents then put their heads together to keep me
out of mischief.

MILL LIFE AND POETRY

I was packed off to Lund's Mill--the late Mr William Lund was at the head
of the firm at the time, and Benjamin Lamb and I became favourites with
him. Mr Lund often used to take us into the staircase at the mill,
provide us with chalk, and tell us to draw animals or anything we liked.
He would offer a prize for the best production. We had also to try our
hands at "making" poetry, and for this Mr Lund would give rewards. Ben
could generally "best" me at drawing, but I managed to get the poetry
prizes all right. One day Ben signed teetotal, and I remember I wrote a
few lines of doggerel on the occasion. It is rather uncouth, but here it
is:--

Benjamin signed teetotal
He signed from drink and liquors;
And it gave him such an appetite
Begum he swallow'd pickers.

MAKING AND SAILING SHIPS

Ben and I also took a fancy to making var