tharine and Petruchio; or, The Taming of the Shrew;' to be
followed by 'Ali Pasha; or, The Mussulman's Vengeance,' and tricks by the
monkey, and comic sketches." These were the words Billy had written on
his paper, but through some misunderstanding _these_ were the words I
heard him cry out: he gave them in broad Haworth dialect:--"This is ta
gie noatis ta t'publick o' Howarth et ther's bahn ta be sum play-acters
at t'Fleece Inn Garritt, and ther bahn ta act 'Catherine fra t'Padding
Can, er Who's ta tak t'screws;' ta be follered bi 'Alpaca, er t'smashing
up o' t'engines.'" But Billy's blunder was perhaps for the best; for,
seeing that this was about the time when hand woolcombing was on the
decline, and engines were being brought out, the people had an idea that
the announcement had some startling reference to their trade. Myself, I
could not help but laugh heartily over this choice specimen of bellman's
oratory.

BILL PLAYS THE STREET MONKEY

About 5.30 in the evening Jack put on his clown's costume, and I put on
the monkey's garb, and Jack, taking the drum and leading me by a chain,
paraded up the main street of Haworth. Opposite the White Lion we
"pitched," and the customers soon came out of the public-house, and
passers-by stopped to see "whoa we wor." I distinctly heard one of the
onlookers say that "if it wor a real un, it wor t'biggest monkey ut he'd
ivver seen." Then a few of the folks standing together held a hurried
confab., and as a result one of them announced, "I'll tread on his tail,
an' if he squeaks it'll be a reight un." Suiting his words to action the
joskin advanced and trod on the end of the monkey's tail. Of course the
monkey squeaked. Jacko also turned round suddenly, and, with a horrid
grin on his features, sprang on the shoulders of his intruder. The poor
fellow screamed, and his first words on finding himself out of danger
were "Oh! he's a reight monkey." Within the next few minutes another
native came up, and inquired of Spencer "Ah say--can thy monkey chew
bacca?"--producing a tobacco-box, the size of which was awe-inspiring.
"Try it," said Spencer, "Give him the box--he's very careful." So the
big-hearted joskin handed his big tobacco-box to the monkey. I was
wearing a mask, which allowed for a large mouth, and I popped the box
into the "yawning cavity." "By gow," said the at-one-time owner of the
box, "What a stummack!--he's swallered t'box an all!" With such an
uncomfortable article