g his countenance, on pain of forfeiting his degree. Odorous
oils were then sprinkled over him, and finally a powerful vomit was
given to him. When this last dose had produced its usual effect upon the
candidate, he was pronounced to be a lawfully graduated doctor.

I turned to a learned doctor, who stood near me, and humbly asked him
the meaning of all I had seen.

First expressing his pity for my ignorance, the sneering pedant
condescended to inform me, that the ceremony of the water was
significant of the preparation for a new course of life and duty; the
ointment, of elevation above the mass; and the vomit, of the
extermination of prejudice and error.

I fancied, but I did not say so, that my dignified instructor in the
mysteries needed a fresh vomit.

The Martinianic religion is not at all practical. There are two hundred
and thirty speculations concerning the form and being of God, and three
hundred and ninety-six of the nature and qualities of the soul. There
are many churches and theological seminaries, but in neither is taught
the way to live and die well. The people are all critics, who go to be
amused by the art and delicacy of the holy teachers. The more obscure
and involved the propositions of their preachers, the more are they
praised. The Martinians are indifferent to every thing they can easily
understand.

Martinia is the paradise of project-makers. The more inconsistent and
useless a scheme, the surer is it of general approbation.

When I once spoke with an enthusiastic monkey, of the earth and its
inhabitants, he fell upon the notion, to bore through to the surface,
and make a convenient and easy way of communication.

He prepared a long and eloquently worded plan on this subject, which
pleased and excited every body.

A company was formed, and named the "Subterranean Boring Company" its
originator, Hiho Pop-coq, was made its president. The stock was seized
on with avidity, and the project was not abandoned until a multitude of
families had been ruined, and the public affairs brought into the
greatest disorder; and even then the scheme was dropped, less from its
supposed impracticability, than from the length of time required to
accomplish it.

The author of it was not only left unpunished, but was overwhelmed with
the general applause, for the originality and boldness of his attempt.

The Martinians are used to console themselves on such occasions, by
repeating the following couplet: