a fellow who travels for
orders. I never said nothing at first; but at last I sees too much, and
then I tells master, who gets into a rage, and goes into his wife, stays
with her half-an-hour, and then comes out and kicks me out of the door,
calling me a liar, and telling me never to show my face again. I shies
a pot at his head, and showed him anything but my face, for I took to my
heels, and ran for it as fast as I could. So much for seeing; if I
hadn't seen, that wouldn't have happened. So there I was adrift, and
good-bye to porter." [Puff, puff; "Mary, where's my 'baccy stopper?"
Poke down, puff, puff, spit, and proceed.] "Well, I walks towards
Lunnen, thinking on husbands and wives, porter and human natur', until I
finds myself there, and then I looks at all the lighted lamps, and
recollects that I haven't no lodging for the night, and then all of a
sudden I thinks of my father and mother, and wonders how they be going
on. So I thought I'd go and see, and away I went, comes to the cellar,
and goes down. There was my mother with a quartern of gin before her,
walking to and fro, and whimpering to herself; so says I, `Mother,
what's the matter now?' at which she jumps up and hugs me, and tells me
I'm her only comfort left. I looked at the quartern and thinks
otherwise; so down I sits by her side, and then she pours me out a
glass, and pours out all her grief, telling me how my father had left
her for another woman, who kept another cellar in another street, and
how she was very unhappy, and how she had taken to gin--which was
nothing but human natur', you see, and how she meant to make away with
herself; and then she sent for more quarterns, and we finished them.
What with the joy of finding me, and the grief at losing my father, and
the quarterns of gin, she went to bed crying drunk and fell fast asleep.
So did I, and thought home was home after all. Next morning I takes up
the business, and finds trade not so bad after all; so I takes the
command of all, keeps all the money, and keeps mother in order; and
don't allow drinking nor disorderly conduct in the house; but goes to
the public-house every night for a pipe and a pot.

"Well, everything goes on very well for a month, when who should come
home but father, which I didn't approve of, because I liked being
master. So I, being a strong chap, then says, `If you be come to
ill-treat my mother, I'll put you in the kennel, father. Be off to your
new woman.