Ar'n't you ashamed of yourself?' says I. So father looks me
in the face, and tells me to stand out of the way, or he'll make cat's
meat of me; and then he goes to my mother, and after a quarter of an
hour of sobbing on her part, and coaxing on his, they kiss and make
friends; and then they both turns to me, and orders me to leave the
cellar, and never to show my face again. I refuses: father flies at me,
and mother helps him; and between the two I was hustled out to find my
bread how and where I could. I've never taken a woman's part since."
[Puff, puff, puff, and a deep sigh.] "I walks down to the water-side,
and having one or two shillings in my pocket, goes into a public-house
to get a drop of drink and a bed. And when I comes in, I sees a man
hand a note for change to the landlady, and she gives him change. `That
won't do,' says he, and he was half tipsy: `I gave you a ten-pound note,
and this here lad be witness.' `It was only a _one_,' says the woman.
`You're a damned old cheat,' says he, `and if you don't give me the
change, I'll set your house on fire, and burn you alive.' With that
there was a great row, and he goes out for the constable and gives her
in charge, and gives me in charge as a witness, and then she gives him
in charge, and so we all went to the watchhouse together, and slept on
the benches. The next morning we all appeared before the magistrate,
and the man tells his story and calls me as a witness; but recollecting
how much I had suffered from _seeing_, I wouldn't see anything this
time. It might have been a ten-pound note, for it certainly didn't look
like a one; but my evidence went rather for than against the woman, for
I only proved the man to be drunk; and she was let off, and I walked
home with her. So says she, `You're a fine boy, and I'll do you a good
turn for what you have done for me. My husband is a waterman, and I'll
make you free of the river; for he hasn't no 'prentice, and you can come
on shore and stay at the public-house when you ar'n't wanted.' I jumped
at the offer, and so, by not _seeing_, I gets into a regular livelihood.
Well, Jacob, how do you like it?"

"Very much," replied I.

"And you, Mary?"

"O! I like it very much; but I want father to go on, and to know how he
fell in love, and married my mother."

"Well, you shall have it all by-and-by; but now I must take a spell."

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.

A VERY SENSIBLE CHAPTER, HAVING REFERENCE TO THE SENSE