s of
spontaneous combustion. The proprietor immediately perceived that he
could avail himself of the public curiosity to my advantage. A plate,
with some silver and gold, was placed at the foot of my poor mother's
flock mattress, with, "For the benefit of the orphan," in capital text,
placarded above it; and many were the shillings, half-crowns, and even
larger sums which were dropped into it by the spectators, who shuddered
as they turned away from this awful specimen of the effects of habitual
intoxication. For many days did the exhibition continue, during which
time I was domiciled with the cook, who employed me in scouring her
saucepans, and any other employment in which my slender services might
be useful, little thinking at the time that my poor mother was holding
her levee for my advantage. On the eleventh day the exhibition was
closed, and I was summoned upstairs by the proprietor, whom I found in
company with a little gentleman in black. This was a surgeon who had
offered a sum of money for my mother's remains, bed and curtains, in a
lot. The proprietor was willing to get rid of them in so advantageous a
manner, but did not conceive that he was justified in taking this step,
although for my benefit, without first consulting me, as heir-at-law.

"Jacob," said he, "this gentleman offers 20 pounds, which is a great
deal of money, for the ashes of your poor mother. Have you any
objection to let him have them?"

"What do you want 'em for?" inquired I.

"I wish to keep them, and take great care of them," answered he.

"Well," replied I, after a little consideration, "if you'll take care of
the old woman, you may have her,"--and the bargain was concluded.
Singular that the first bargain I ever made in my life should be that of
selling my own mother. The proceeds of the exhibition and sale amounted
to 47 pounds odd, which the worthy proprietor of the lighter, after
deducting for a suit of clothes, laid up for my use. Thus ends the
history of my mother's remains, which proved more valuable to me than
ever she did when living. In her career she somewhat reversed the case
of Semele, who was first visited in a shower of gold, and eventually
perished in the fiery embraces of the god: whereas my poor mother
perished first by the same element, and the shower of gold descended to
her only son. But this is easily explained. Semele was very lovely and
did not drink gin--my mother was her complete antithesis.

Wh