CHAPTER THREE.

I AM SENT TO A CHARITY SCHOOL, WHERE THE BOYS DO NOT CONSIDER CHARITY AS
A PART OF THEIR EDUCATION--THE PECULIARITIES OF THE MASTER, AND THE
MAGICAL EFFECT OF A BLOW OF THE NOSE--A DISQUISITION UPON THE LETTER A,
FROM WHICH I FIND ALL MY PREVIOUS LEARNING THROWN AWAY.

Before I quitted the room, Sarah and I were in deep converse at the
window, and Mr and Mrs Drummond employed likewise at the table. The
result of the conversation between Sarah and me was the intimacy of
children; that of Mr and Mrs Drummond, that the sooner I was disposed
of, the more it would be for my own advantage. Having some interest
with the governors of a charity school near Brentford, Mr Drummond lost
no time in procuring me admission; and before I had quite spoiled my new
clothes, having worn them nearly three weeks, I was suited afresh in a
formal attire--a long coat of pepper and salt, yellow leather breeches
tied at the knees, a worsted cap with a tuft on the top of it, stockings
and shoes to match, and a large pewter plate upon my breast, marked with
Number 63, which, as I was the last entered boy, indicated the sum total
of the school. It was with regret that I left the abode of the
Drummonds, who did not think it advisable to wait for the completion of
the barge, much to the annoyance of Miss Drummond, and before we arrived
met them all out walking. I was put into the ranks, received a little
good advice from my worthy patron, who then walked away one way, while
we walked another, looking like a regiment of yellow-thighed field-fares
straightened in human perpendiculars. Behold, then, the last scion of
the Faithfuls, peppered, salted, and plated, that all the world might
know that he was a charity-boy, and that there was charity in this
world. But if heroes, kings, great and grave men, must yield to
destiny, lighter-boys cannot be expected to escape; and I was doomed to
receive an education, board, lodging, raiment, etcetera, free, gratis,
and for nothing.

Every society has it chief; and I was about to observe that every circle
has it centre, which certainly would have been true enough, but the
comparison is of no use to me, as our circle had two centres, or, to
follow up the first idea, had two chiefs--the chief schoolmaster and the
chief domestic--the chief masculine and the chief feminine--the chief
with the ferula, and the chief with the brimstone and treacle--the
master and the matron, each of whom had