und me alone in my room, and
shutting the door himself, he said he was glad to find me alone, for
that he wished a free conversation with me. He entered immediately on an
explanation of the situation of our affairs with France, and the
danger of rupture with that nation, a rupture which would convulse the
attachments of this country; that he was impressed with the necessity of
an immediate mission to the Directory; that it would have been the first
wish of his heart to have got me to go there, but that he supposed it
was out of the question, as it did not seem justifiable for him to
send away the person destined to take his place in case of accident to
himself, nor decent to remove from competition one who was a rival in
the public favor. That he had, therefore, concluded to send a mission,
which, by its dignity, should satisfy France, and by its selection from
the three great divisions of the continent, should satisfy all parts of
the United States; in short, that he had determined to join Gerry and
Madison to Pinckney, and he wished me to consult Mr. Madison for him.
I told him that, as to myself, I concurred in the opinion of
the impropriety of my leaving the post assigned me, and that my
inclinations, moreover, would never permit me to cross the Atlantic
again; that I would, as he desired, consult Mr. Madison, but I feared
it was desperate, as he had refused that mission on my leaving it, in
General Washington's time, though it was kept open a twelvemonth for
him. He said that if Mr. Madison should refuse, he would still appoint
him, and leave the responsibility on him. I consulted Mr. Madison, who
declined, as I expected. I think it was on Monday the 6th of March, Mr.
Adams and myself met at dinner at General Washington's, and we happened,
in the evening, to rise from table and come away together. As soon as
we got into the street, I told him the event of my negotiation with Mr.
Madison. He immediately said, that, on consultation, some objections to
that nomination had been raised, which he had not contemplated; and was
going on with excuses which evidently embarrassed him, when we came to
Fifth street, where our road separated, his being down Market street,
mine off along Fifth, and we took leave: and he never after that said
one word to me on the subject, or ever consulted me as to any measures
of the government. The opinion I formed at the time on this transaction
was, that Mr. Adams, in the first moments of the e