ch we had so often
admired together. I bid them adieu, and recommended myself to their
sweet influence. The monument which encloses the ashes of my father
and my mother, and in which, if the good God permits, mine also will
be deposited, was one of the principal causes of the regret I felt
at banishing myself from the place of my residence; but I found
almost always on approaching it, a sort of strength which appeared
to me to come from on high. I passed an hour in prayer before that
iron gate which inclosed the mortal remains of the noblest of human
beings, and there, my soul was convinced of the necessity of
departure. I recalled the famous verses of Claudian*, in which he
expresses the kind of doubt which arises in the most religious minds
when they see the earth abandoned to the wicked, and the destiny of
mortals as it were floating at the mercy of chance. I felt that I
had no longer the strength necessary to feed the enthusiasm which
developed in me whatever good qualities I possessed, and that I must
listen to the voice of those of similar sentiments with myself, for
the purpose of strengthening my confidence in my own resources, and
preserving that self-respect which my father had instilled into me.
In this state of anxiety, I invoked several times the memory of my
father, of that man, the Fenelon of politics, whose genius was in
every thing opposed to that of Bonaparte; and genius he certainly
had, for it requires at least as much of that to put one's self in
harmony with heaven, as to invoke to one's aid all the instruments
which are let loose by the absence of laws divine and human. I went
once more to look at my father's study, where his easy chair, his
table, and his papers, still remained in their old situation; I
embraced each venerated mark, I took his cloak which till then I had
ordered to be left upon his chair, and carried it away with me, that
I might wrap myself in it, if the messenger of death approached me.
When these adieus were terminated, I avoided as much as I could any
other leave-takings, which affected me too much, and wrote to the
friends whom I quitted, taking care that my letters should not reach
them until several days after my departure.

* Saepe mihi dubiam traxitisententia mentem,
Curarent Superi terras, an nullus inesset
Rector, et incerto fluerent mortalia casu.

Abstulit hunc tandem Rufini poena tumultum,
Absolvitque Deos. Jam non ad culmina rerum
Injustos crevisse que