ay on a stiff 'un. If you want anything good you should
go to Mexico.

COLONEL. [Jumping up and holding out the map.] Go to [He stops in
time.] What d'you call that, eh? M-E-X----

ERNEST. [Not to be embarrassed.] It all depend on what part.

COLONEL. You think you know everything--you think nothing's right
unless it's your own idea! Be good enough to keep your advice to
yourself.

ERNEST. [Moving with his chair, and stopping with a smile.] If you
ask me, I should say it wasn't playing the game to put Molly into a
thing like that.

COLONEL. What do you mean, sir?

ERNEST. Any Juggins can see that she's a bit gone on our friend.

COLONEL. [Freezingly.] Indeed!

ERNEST. He's not at all the sort of Johnny that appeals to me.

COLONEL. Really?

ERNEST. [Unmoved.] If I were you, Colonel, I should tip her the
wink. He was hanging about her at Ascot all the time. It 's a bit
thick!

[MRS. HOPE followed by ROSE appears from the house.]

COLONEL. [Stammering with passion.] Jackanapes!

MRS. HOPE. Don't stand there, Tom; clear those papers, and let Rose
lay the table. Now, Ernest, go and get another chair.

[The COLONEL looks wildly round and sits beneath the hollow
tree, with his head held in his hands. ROSE lays the cloth.]

MRS. BEECH. [Sitting beside the COLONEL.] Poor creature!

ERNEST. [Carrying his chair about with him.] Ask any Johnny in the
City, he 'll tell you Mexico's a very tricky country--the people are
awful rotters.

MRS. HOPE. Put that chair down, Ernest.

[ERNEST looks at the chair, puts it down, opens his mouth, and
goes away. ROSE follows him.]

What's he been talking about? You oughtn't to get so excited, Tom;
is your head bad, old man? Here, take these papers! [She hands the
papers to the COLONEL.] Peachey, go in and tell them tea 'll be
ready in a minute, there 's a good soul? Oh! and on my dressing
table you'll find a bottle of Eau de Cologne.

MRS. BEECH. Don't let him get in a temper again. That 's three
times to-day!

[She goes towards the house. ]

COLONEL. Never met such a fellow in my life, the most opinionated,
narrow-minded--thinks he knows everything. Whatever Letty could see
in him I can't think. Pragmatical beggar!

MRS. HOPE. Now Tom! What have you been up to, to get into a state
like this?

COLONEL. [Avoiding her eyes.] I shall lose my temper with him one
of these days. He's got that